Wednesday, March 31, 2010
" Jesus Christ Anna. You scared me." I said as I tried to get my breathing back to normal
" Sorry. I didn't mean to." She said letting go of me and and giving me a small smile
I looked around and knew that this wasn't the appropriate place to have any kind of discussion that she may want to have so I offered to let her come to our room and she agreed. She followed me in silence until we got into the room. She gave me a few minutes to put AJ down before I turned around.
" Look I'm sorry about the way that I reacted. It just pissed me off so badly that you knew what I had. Than Patrick called and talked to me and it really helped to hear how he dealt with knowing that one of his teammates had been with you before him and it really put things into perspective."
I really wanted to know what had been said but I didn't want to admit to her that it was something that we had never talked about.
" I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I'm not sure that things can go back to the way they were I really miss you and I can't imagine not having you in my life or my child's life.
" Wait did you say what I think you said?" I asked as I looked at her
She smiled at me and nodded and I squeeled as I pulled her into a hug.
" Does Sharpie know yet?" I asked
" No. I just found out. He doesn't even know that I came to New York yet. It was kind of a last minute decision. I thought I would surprise him at the game."
" That's great. I am so happy for the two of you. You both are going to be great parents."
" Thanks. I know that I'm going to need alot of help."
" You know that I'm willing to help you with anything that you need." I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. We spent the next couple of hours getting caught up with what had been going on. The other women came in and there was more yelling and hugging as the news was shared with everyone. Karri looked particularly happy and I know that she had to be thrilled that she had both of her friends back. We all got ready and went to MSG for the game. The guys lost so I was anticipating a bad mood but as we headed down to the locker room I found that the general mood wasn't too bad. I watched as Anna found Sharpie and I saw the surprise and than the happiness on his face as she approached him and kissed him. When I saw the way that they looked at each other I knew that they were going to be alright. She pulled him down and whispered into his ear and I don't think that his smile could have gotten any bigger. He announced to the whole room what he had just been told and there were a lot of cheers and calls to go out and celebrate. We already had plans but I promised them we would come out with them when we got back to Chicago. Since Patrick already had a suit on all we had to do was go back to the hotel so I could get changed before we went out for dinner. His mom and sister were going to watch AJ for us since they didn't get to see that much of them anyways. After I was done getting ready Patrick had the front desk call a cab so we could head out for our late dinner. We went to a really fancy restaurant and as we waited for our food I really wanted to ask what he had said to Anna.
" So that's great news about Sharpie and Anna isn't it?"
" Yeah it is." he said as he grabbed his glass of wine and took a drink
" So I heard that you talked to Anna" I said trying to prompt him to tell me why
" Yeah I did. I thought that it would help her to hear how I felt about the whole situation when we got together."
I looked at him and had to wonder what he was talking about and why he had never said anything about it.
" I know that I never said anything but it was hard, especially the first month. I always worried that I wasn't living up to Sharpie and the fact that I had to see him everyday didn't help. But after awhile I realized that you could leave at anytime but you kept coming back and that had to count for something right? In the end you choose me and that was all that mattered and Sharpie was my friend and teammate and I couldn't just give that up over something that really had nothing to do with me in the first place."
" Why didn't you tell me any of this."
" I don't know. Mostly because I felt like an idiot for feeling that way in the first place and by the time I got over that it didn't matter anymore."
" And why didn't you mention that you told Anna all of this?"
" I didn't know if she would listen and I was afraid that you would be mad at me for butting my nose in."
I leaned over the table so I could kiss him.
" I'm not mad at you, in fact I am positive if it wasn't for you that I wouldn't have my friend back and I am more thankful for that than you could ever know."
" Maybe you can show me how grateful you are when we get back to the hotel?" he asked me with a gleam in his eyes
" Hmm, I don't know, I think we can arrange something." I said as I smiled back at him
We forgot all about eating and headed back to the hotel .
Saturday, March 6, 2010
We made our way back to the house after promising the guys that I would bring AJ to more games. I played with my phone and thought about calling Sharpie to see how bad it was but I didn't want to cause anymore problems. Patrick knew that I was worried and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before we climbed out of the car. After we got everything inside I put AJ down for the night and went down to the living room.
" She's one of your best friends. She will come around. It just might take some time." Patrick said after I glanced at my phone for what seemed like the thousandth time
" I don't know Patrick. You should have seen her. I've never seen her so upset before."
" It happened before they got back togeather and it's not like it was serious."
He was telling me things that I already knew and it was pissing me off a little bit. It didn't matter if we knew that, she didn't and I honestly could say that I wouldn't blame her if she never talked to me again. I got off the couch and decided that I needed to have my say in the matter and if that was what she decided to do than there was nothing that I could do about it.
" Where are you going?"
" I'm going over to Sharpies and explaining myself to Anna."
" Do you think that's a good idea?"
" Probably not but she needs to hear what happened and than if she still won't talk to me than there isn't anything I can do about it."
I got into the car and drove the short distance to Sharpie's house. I almost lost my nerve when I went to knock and stepped back to take a deep breath to calm myself. I finally knocked and had to wait a minute before Sharpie finally anwsered the door. I didn't need to ask him how things were, the look on his face told me everything that I needed to know.
" Can I come in? I have to talk to her."
" Be my guest, but I can guareentee that she won't listen."
" That's fine. Where is she?"
" Upstairs in the bedroom."
He stepped aside to let me in and I headed up to the bedroom. My heart sank when I peeked in and saw all of the clothes strewn around the room along with several bags.
" Anna, I really need to talk to you." I said
" What the hell do you want?" she whispered.
I came in and sat on the bed next to where she was standing.
" I know that it wasn't right not to tell you about what had happened but I agreed because I didn't want things to be weird between us and I didn't think that you were going to become such a good friend to me."
She sniffed and wiped at her face.
" It didn't bother me at all when it was some nameless girl. I mean it's not like he cheated on me, we weren't together and that was my fault. I guess it was just a shock to find out it was you."" I really hope that you don't leave. Patrick is a really good guy and I know without a doubt that he loves you."
" I know. I guess I just reacted without thinking things through. I really don't want to leave."
She finally looked at me for the first time since I had walked in the room
" I'm going to need time to deal with this."
" I know. Please just know that I'll wait for however long you need me too. You're to important for me to lose as a friend."
She nodded her head and got up and started to pick up everything off the floor. I took this as my cue to leave. Sharpie was sitting on the couch when I came downstairs. I told him that she wasn't going to leave but that it was probably a good idea if we stayed away from each other for at least a little while. He looked sad but agreed. Even after our little fling had ended he had always been a good friend but it was for the best.
The next couple of weeks went by slowly and I hated it. There were several times when I found myself picking up my phone to call Anna to tell her about something that happened or just to talk and then I would remember that she wasn't speaking to me and it killed me. I spent most of my time with Karri and I knew without her telling me that she felt like she was being pulled between the both of us, even though that wasn't either of our intentions. It was time to fly to New York to see about getting a dress and as much as I was hoping she would show up I wasn't counting on it. My mom, AJ and I were picked up by Karri so we could catch our flight out of O'Hara. We would be meeting everyone else at the hotel later that day. The flight was uneventful considering I was flying with the baby for the first time. We made it into JFK and after getting our luggage we were met by a driver and limo that would be taking us wherever we needed to go. We dropped everything off and picked up Patrick's mom and sisters and went directly to the first store. It didn't take me long to get annoyed, even though I tried not to show it. By the third store I had stopped counting the number of horribly over-priced pieces of fabric that I had already tried on. The rest of the women seemed oblivious to my pain as they threw dresses at me. I wandered off as they talked and went to a rack of dresses that were hanging in the corner. I started to aimlessly rifle through them not really looking when my phone rang. I looked at the caller id and was surprised to see that it was Sharpie.
" Hey." I said as I flipped open my phone wondering why he would be calling me after everything that happened.
" Hi. I was wondering if you had a minute to talk,"
" Yeah sure. What's up?"
" It's Anna. She feels horrible about the way that she treated you but she is afraid that you don't want to talk to her."
" Really?" I asked trying not to sound to hopeful
" Yeah she really misses you."
" How is everything between you too?" I asked hoping that it was getting better
" It's better. I think that after you talked to her she calmed down she came and talked to me and I think that we are working at it.
I let out a sigh of relief. I was so happy that they were working their way to being better.
" I think that Kaner talking to her really helped to."
" He did?" Patrick had never mentioned it
" Um yeah he did. I guess he explained why it he didn't see it as a big deal and that helped her realize that if he could get past it that she should to."
" That's great Sharpie. Please can you tell her that I'm not mad and that she can call me anytime that she's ready?"
" Yeah I can do that. I'll see you later at the game?"
" Yep. I'll be there with everyone else to cheer my favorite guys on."
We said our goodbyes and I hung up feeling happier than I had in awhile. It made the rest of the day fly by more quickly and even though I didn't find anything that I liked in dressed the rest of the girls picked out their bridesmaid dresses so at least something got accomplished. I was getting tired and the baby was getting fusy so I went back to the hotel with the intentions of the both of us taking a nap but that ended up not happening.