Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Hawks vs Flyers

So the Flyers will be playing the Hawks for the Stanley cup. It goes without saying that I really hope the Hawks can go all of the way since the thought of the Stanley Cup going to the Flyers makes me vomit in the back of my mouth. Plus I'm pretty sure that Burish would bring the cup to Madison for his day and that would be a forty five minute drive that would be totally worth calling into work for. If it happens it would make the second consecutive summer that the cup spent a day in Wisconsin, which I think is pretty damn cool. For those of you that don't know, Ruslan Fedetenko lives with his family during the summer in a ritzy waterfront community called Sister Bay, which is up in Door County. Even though he is Ukranian he had his day with the cup there. I will be trying to update the story as soon as I can. I'm just not a hundred percent sure what I want to do from here on out so I have to spend a little time figuring that out. I might skip ahead a little bit but I'm not sure. But be assurred that some kind of update is coming.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Taking Some Time Away

So I just wanted to let everyone know that I am going to take at least a week off from doing anything with any of my stories. I have to get somethings in my life taken care of that I have been putting off and honestly this isn't helping the matter any. I hope that you guys will stick around and I promise that it won't be too long until I update again. I'll still take the time to read all of the stories that I follow though so I won't be gone completely.

Monday, May 10, 2010

The Waiting Game Chapter 40

Wow. I can't believe this is chapter 40. I know that doesn't seem like alot and compared to some of the other stories that I read/have read it isn't but I never anticipated it being this long or going in this direction. I have come to think of this story in terms of a roadtrip. I made inital plans but in the end I ended up taking detours that I didn't anticipate but it ended up making the journey that much more enjoyable. I was also thinking about doing a whole seperate story for Jon and Erica but I haven't decided yet. If I do it would be from his point of view while most of what I have written about it in this one is from hers so let me know what you think of the idea.

I was waiting in the kitchen for Erica to come home from her date with Tazer. Patrick had wanted to do it but I knew that he would freak out if she was later than she said she was going to be and I knew that it wouldn't be good. Since it was proven that I didn't give myself permanent brain damage in the accident I had resumed my job hunt and made some calls. There were two that seemed promising so I was filling out online applications. I was in the middle of one when I realized that it was a little past eleven. I checked my phone and didn't find any missed messages or text and I debated about what to do. She was an adult and I wasn't her mother but I didn't want this to get off to a bad start with Patrick. I sent her a quick text to ask her if she planned on coming back to the house. It took a few minutes but I finally received one back. I guess they had went back to his place to watch a movie and fell asleep on the couch. Twenty minutes later I heard the front door open and the low murmer of voices. I didn't want to interrupt so I stayed put. She finally came into kitchen and threw herself into the chair with a sigh. I could tell by the look on her face that it had went well, but I asked anyway.

" Yeah it was great. We had a nice dinner and talked for a little while and then we went back to his place to watch a movie but honestly neither of us really paid any attention. We just sat together and he held me and kissed me and it was even better than I remember it being."

" You guys didn't um you know...."

She blinked at me a few minutes before what I was trying to ask finally dawned on her.

" Have sex?No but trust me I wanted to. If I could have jumped him the minute we got in his car I would have but he told me right away that he felt horrible for treating me like a puckslut the last time and that he wanted to take the time for us to really get to know each other before we did anything like that again."

She had the same dreamy far off look that Brent had when he told us about his girl and I was glad to see people that I loved dearly finding themselves good people that made them feel happy and loved.

" You know Brent's new girl is coming down at the end of the month to visit and meet everyone. Maybe if you aren't busy you could come down and we could all go out or something." I suggested

Her eyes lit up and she eagerly nodded her head.

" Yeah that sounds great. Just let me know when."

I got up and gave her shoulder a squeeze before I went upstairs. I was surprised to see that Patrick was still up.

" I take it Erica is home?"

" Yes and she is in one piece so you can get that look off of your face."

" Did she say anything?"

" They had a nice dinner and went back to his place and watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch." I said as I crawled into bed and cuddled up against him

" Are you sure that's what happened?" he said as he turned on his side. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him

" That's what she said and I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't lie to me. Besides I thought you didn't want to know any details."

" I don't but I just need to know that she isn't doing anything stupid."

God he sounded like a grumpy old man.

" She isn't and from what she told me Tazer wants to take things slow and really get to know her before they get to that point in their relationship."

He visably relaxed when I told him this and I was glad to see it. I knew that he had a game tommorrow and that he should really get some sleep but it looked like he had gotten himself so worked up that he was going to be wide awake for awhile. I knew that there was something that I could do to make him relax fully and I moved so we were laying facing each other. I kissed his lips and started to rub his bare arm up and down with just my fingertips. He pulled me against him so there was no space between us and we kissed like that for a few minutes before I pulled away. The kissing was great but it wasn't what I had in mind. I instructed him to lay down and he did without asking questions. I got on my knees and moved so I was situated between his legs. Even after all of this time I was still amazed that this perfect man belonged to me, and apparently I stared for longer then I realized because he looked at me with a grin.

" Are you just going to sit there and stare at me like a piece of meat or are you planning on doing something."

I fell on him and started to kiss his neck, probably leaving a mark but not really caring. I made my way down his shoulder to his chest where I spent time licking and kissing him, making him moan my name and I hadn't even gotten to the best part yet. I licked the light colored hairs that made up his happy trail. I could tell that he was getting impatient by the fact that he was trying to move his hips so he could rub his erection against my chest but I wasn't ready to get there just yet. As much as I wanted to please him, there was a part of me that enjoyed teasing him and now that I was in control I did just that. I rolled my eyes up so I could watch his face as I moved down and licked at his length through the thin fabric of the boxers that he was still wearing. He groaned and I knew that he had enough teasing. I sat up so I could strip his boxers off and took him in my mouth as fully as I could. Between my mouth and my hands it didn't take long for me to get him off. I moved back up beside him and laid so that the length of our bodies were touching.
" What do you want me to do to you?" whispered in my ear
" Don't worry about it right now. You have a game tomorrow and I don't have a problem with you owing me so for right now just go to sleep."
I stood up so I could go to the bathroom
" Are you sure. Trust me I wouldn't mind returning the favor right now." he said as he grinned at me
" Yes I'm sure. I'll be back in a minute."
I returned from the bathroom a few minutes later and I saw that my plan had worked. He was already sleeping when I returned. I took my customary spot next to him and he moved around so that his chest was against my back. He put his arm around my waist and threw a leg over mine. I was out myself a few minutes later.


Just so everyone knows I erased the last post. I have no idea why it posted but it wasn't done and I guess I could have edited it but I really didn't like it anyways so if any of you have already read it I'm sorry but just pretend like you didn't. I think it will show up on your dashboard but if you try to click it it will go to the last chapter that was already posted.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Protection Chapter 39

I sat in front of the mound of presents that were currently sitting on the table in front of me. I had now idea how I had let myself be talked into this but I guess it started with being out numbered. I also knew that the only reason that the guys wanted to have a party was so they could remind me that I was now an old lady. Because I had insisted Patrick had opened his stuff first and after I saw what he had gotten I knew that I was in for it. Everyone looked at me expectantly as I grabbed the first box. It looked like a shirt box. I pulled the little card off of it and saw that it was from Duncs and Seabs. It was really true that they did pretty much everything together. They looked at me waiting for my reaction. I slowly pulled out the first shirt and looked at it. It was black and had the head of what I would have to guess was a cougar because under it was printed cougar on the prowl.

" Really guys?" I said as I dug out the the next one. This one was even better. It was bright red and had the words certified milf. I just shook my head and put it down with the other one. The rest of the gifts that followed were pretty much the same. Adam and Karri bought me a naughty nurse outfit complete with a stethoscope and that was followed by a kit that included, among other things, a pair of pink furry handcuffs. I didn't think that I could get anymore embarresed but little did I know how wrong I was. I was told that there was one more present for me before we went to the bar and that it was from all of the guys. I looked around and didn't see anything so I was really confused. I watched as Adam went to his kitchen and grabbed a chair at the same time that Sharpie went to the stereo and started to mess with an ipod that was already plugged into it. I was pulled and sat right back down into the chair that had been placed at the center of the living room. As a wad of dollar bills were shoved into my hand it finally dawned on me what was going on. They had to have hired a stripper and if they did I was going to kill them. I waited and it only took a few minutes for me to hear the start of the song " Boom Boom Pow" by the Blackeyed Peas. My eye got wide and I looked around the room and didn't see the person that I was looking for. Oh hell no I was going to kill all of them. All of a sudden I heard everyone start to yell and hoot and when I looked over my shoulder and my eyes went huge as Steeger came prancing out of the hallway wearing nothing but a pair of black jeans and a bowtie. I could tell that he was enjoying himself as he came up to me and started to shake his butt in my face. I could feel my face turning red as he started to strip out of his jeans, leaving him with with just the bowtie and a speedo. He started to give me a lapdance and I started to shove the dollar bills in his speedo just to get this over with as soon as possible. Finally the song ended and thankfully he took a bow and went off to clapping and cheers.

" So did you like the team present?" Sharpie asked with a grin after everyone quieted down

" Seriously, Steeger?" I asked

" Well we were going to ask Buff to do it but Steeger already had the underware and bowtie so we figured we'd just let him do it. Besides did you see how much he enjoyed himself." Adam said not able to hide the shit eating grin on his face

" Yeah that was part of the problem. I think that he was enjoying himself a little too much." I muttered.

" Now how about we clean this place up and then head out to the bar?" Adam said

" Screw that. I'm the birthday girl. Clean it up your damnself." I huffed as I went back to the living room

A little while later we headed to the club that the team usually went to when we all went out. I had been forced into wearing the cougar shirt and a huge ridiculas pin that said spank me it's my birthday. We all got a couple of drinks in us and sat down to relax. I was feeling pretty good so I figured it was time to start dancing. I started dancing with Tazer, moved to Seabs and decided that I needed to find my boyfriend to dance with. I looked around the bar and my eyes narrowed as I saw him talking to a red head while he sat at the bar. He was facing her and she was leaned towards him and I really didn't like the body launguage that I was seeing from her. She might as well been wearing a huge sign that said easy lay. I had to admit that I was still feeling a little insecure about the whole age thing and seeing my cute younger fiancee flirt with a cute girl that was probably around the same age as him. I made my way to the bar and made a point of squeezing in between the two of them to get another drink. I felt a hand make it's way to my waist and I turned around sticking my boobs right in his face. I leaned forward and kissed his lips and made my way along his jaw to his ear.

" Who's your friend" I whispered into his ear before I started to kiss the skin directly behind it

" What are you talking about?" he asked as I pulled away. I couldn't help but grin.

" Never mind. Let's go dance." I said as I pulled him off the chair and onto the crowded floor. He's still not that big on dancing but he's gotten better and the alcohol in his system loosened him up enough that he was at least enjoying himself. We left a little before one since we had to get back. His family was in town to celebrate our birthdays and insisted that we go out to have a little time to get out and spend together. Despite now knowing what Steegers ass looked like, it had been a fun, relaxing night. When we got back home I went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and he followed closely behind me. I tried to ignore him as he pressed himself against my back and moved my hair our of the way so he could kiss the back of my neck. We were interuppted as someone came in the kitchen. I wiggled out of his arms and turned around to see his sister Erica standing in the doorway watching us.
" Don't let me interrupt." she mumbled " At least someone may be getting some tonight."
I turned and saw the look on Patrick's face and knew that if I didn't intervene that he was going to say something that would probably start a fight. As much as he didn't like it she was a grown women and she was going to do grownup things no matter what he thought or said.
" Babe why don't you head up to bed and I'll meet you upstairs in a few minutes." I said trying to defuse the situation. He looked like he was still going to say something but changed his mind. He gave me a kiss and and headed upstairs. I sat at the table and waited for Erica to spill whatever was on her mind.
" So was Jonathan at the bar with you guys tonight?" she asked looking at the table
" Yeah he was." I said not quite sure why she would be asking
" He didn't go home with anyone did he?" she asked me finally looking up at me
" No not that I know of but he isn't really the type to just pick random puckfucks all of the time."
She looked relieved at this little bit of info and it finally dawned on me why she was asking.
" Erica did something happen between you and Tazer?"
She bit her lip and nodded
" I've always thought Jon was cute and whenever I was around him he was really nice to me, flirting and stuff and I guess it was right before you guys met that I came down to visit for a weekend. Pat took me out to the bar with them even though I wasn't old enough and he was too busy fighting with Tina to be paying attention to what I was doing. I wanted to go home and Jon offered to take me because she wasn't ready to leave. When we got back here I invited him in and we ended up having sex on the couch." She looked like she was on the verge of crying and I scooted my chair over so I could give her a hug

" I really liked him and I know that he liked me but afterwards he said that it was a mistake, that Pat would kill the both of us if he ever found out what happened and as much as it pissed me off I knew that he was right. He got dressed and left and now he won't even look at me."

" I'm sorry sweetie."

" You know the worse part is that even though it was one time over two years ago I can't get it out of my head. I haven't told anyone this but the reason that my last boyfriend broke up with me was because I called him Jon in the middle of having sex with him. Needless to say that didn't go over well with him and he ended it the same night. Told me that it wasn't fair to be compared to someone like that."

" That fucking bastard. He's right I'm going to kill him." I heard Patrick say as he stood in the doorway. His face was red and he was clenching his hands into fists at his side. Erica and I both looked at each other with wide eyes as he turned around and headed into the living room. We both jumped up and went in after him to stop him from doing anything stupid. He was shoving his feet into his shoes.

" Patrick don't do anything stupid. I know that she is your little sister but she is an adult that can make her own decisions and you need to respect that.

"You are such a fucking hypocrite. Before you two got together you use to fuck whatever random chick that you found in the bar but I'm suppose to sit at home for the rest of my life and be a nun? You can go fuck yourself." she yelled

" Don't you get it? I'm your big brother. It's my job to protect you." he yelled back

" Maybe that was true a long time ago but I'm a big girl now. You have to let me make my own mistakes." She said as she sat down next to him and put her hand on his arm. All of the fight seemed to go out of both of them as they sat there in silence. I jumped as I felt a hand on my shoulder.
" Is everything all right? We thought that we heard someone yelling." his mom asked me as she looked over my shoulder at what was going on in front of us
" Everything is fine mom. You can go back to bed." he said in a voice that was slightly husky from the yelling
She looked at me and I nodded my head. She didn't ask anymore questions and headed back upstairs to go back to sleep. He pulled his sister towards him and gave her a kiss on the forehead before he let her go.
" I just don't want to see you get hurt that's all. I wasn't trying to be a jerk." he said with a sigh
" I know that you act the way that you do because you care but I promise that I'll be okay and if I get a broken heart then you'll both be there to help me pick it up and put it back together." she said looking at me for support
" That's what family does." I affirmed as I returned the smile that she gave me
" Well I guess you have my permission but just be warned that I don't ever want to hear any details ever and that you better not be stupid because if he knocks you up or hurts you I'll still be forced to kill him and I would prefer not to spend the rest of my life in jail because let's face it, I'm way to pretty and I don't feel like being the bitch of some big guy named bubba."
I knew that his lame attempt at humor was his way of letting us know that he was as okay with this as he was going to be. She gave him a sloppy kiss and jumped up and hugged me tightly
" Thanks. I really appreciate your help with this. I don't think that he would have ever listened to me."
" I wouldn't get yourself to worked up just yet. You still have to talk to Tazer." I said not wanting her to get her hopes up
"I know but I'm just excited that I have the chance to see if there is anything there like I think. At least if he shoots me down this time it won't be because my brother won't approve."
" I think that you should try to get some sleep, it's late." I watched as she bounded up the stairs
I went and sat on the couch where Patrick was still sitting with his head leaned back against the couch.
" Why do I feel like I was just ganged up on." he said with his eyes still closed.
" Because you were." I said with a small laugh
" I really hope I'm making the right decision." he said opening his eyes to look at me
" Well I do agree with her and at least we know that Tazer is a good guy. If I had a sister I would want her with someone like him. He's cute and mature and a sweetie and.. damn why am I with you again?" I said trying to joke around with him
" Well if you want maybe you and my sister can date him at the same time so you can keep an eye on them."
" Okay I'll give him a call tomorrow. Maybe we can set it up so I can have him on Mondays, Wensdays and Fridays and we can rotate weekends." I said like I was really thinking about it. He grabbed my arm and layed backwards pulling me on top of him.
" I change my mind. I don't think I'll be very good at sharing." he said as he cupped my face and pulled me towards him so he could kiss me.
" That's good cause I think that you are stuck with me at this point." I said as his hands started to roam over my lower back
" There is nobody else that I would rather be stuck with. Why don't we head up to bed. This whole night has been exhausting.
I agreed and gave him my hand to help him up after I managed to crawl off of him. He took my hand and I followed him up to our bedroom, only stopping to check on AJ before we both fell into bed.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Simple Little Things Chapter 38

I know I said that I was going to be working on my other story and I am but I can't seem to get this one out of my head. Thanks for the comments recently I really appreciate them and to EhisCdn please don't ever think that your comments are annoying or too long. Everytime I post a new chapter I anticipate what you are going to write because it never fails to make me smile and usually laugh out loud. So please continue to ramble because it will always be enjoyed. lol
Hope everything is going well with your story and if you want you can always email me if you need any help with anything. So I realized that the timeline for this story is confusing because I am not very good at keeping track of where I am at with that. So they met a day before their twenty-eigth and twenty-first birthdays. They started dating january of the next year and she got pregnant in june and they would have celebrated another birthday a piece making that a year. She had the baby in March and I've wrote that he is already around eight months old already which would make it close to their birthdays yet again. So to recap the Baby is around eight months old and they both will be celebrating their 30 and 23rd birthdays, which makes it almost two years since they first met and almost two years since they have started dating. Man I hope all of that makes sense to someone cause I'm really confused right now.lol. If something in this doesn't sound right please let me know because I'm really to lazy to go back and read the whole story right now.

It had been almost two weeks since my accident and while it was getting better I was still having some issues with headaches and being cranky. It helped that my mom had offered to help until I felt well enough to be able to take care of things on my own. The guys were being great, offering to help when they were around and giving me tips to heal quicker. I was sitting on the couch when Patrick came home from practice and brought a few of the guys with him.

" So it's almost time for someone to turn thirty." Seabs said as he plopped down beside me

" Thanks for reminding me you asshole." I said as I punched him in the arm. He pretended to be hurt as he rubbed his arm

" Are you guys planning on doing something this year since we'll be in town?" Tazer asked as he he came out of the kitchen, having rooted around in our fridge for something to eat

" I don't know, I haven't talked to Patrick about it yet but as far as I'm concerned I'm not having anymore birthdays. I'm going to be twenty-nine for the rest of my life."

Patrick came down the stairs with AJ on his hip. I couldn't believe that it had already been almost eight months since he had been born. He was talking up a storm and no matter what kind of mood I was in he never failed to make me smile. He was already trying to pull himself up on stuff and was calling us mama and dada, which especially thrilled Patrick. He sat him down on the floor and gave him one of the mini sticks that he had bought awhile ago and took the other one as he sat across from him and gently hit the little foam ball towards AJ.

" Come on hit it back to daddy." he tried to coax. It was so cute that I couldn't help but laugh. AJ tried to swipe at the ball but ended up missing it completly and falling over. He pouted for a minute before crawling over to the couch and using Brent's pants to pull himself up.

" Come here." Brent cooed as AJ held his hand up to him to be picked up. Brent sat him on his knee and started to bounce him around, causing him to giggle. Patrick went and turned on the ps3 and brought both controllers with him. He threw one to Taze before he settled himself against my legs. Ever since the accident these were the kinds of things that I realized I shouldn't take for granted. I would take boring and routine over being six feet under any day. I got up to make a few phonecalls since the guys were making a lot of noise. I called my mom to let her know that everything was going okay and that I was feeling okay. She had been worried when I sent her home so I had to reassure her. The next phonecall was to our wedding planner to let her know that yes the wedding was still on. The last one was to check on Anna to see how she was feeling. She was just starting to show but she was doing well, just tired and constantly hungry according to her. We talked for a few more minutes before I let her go. I went back into the living room and squished myself between the two men and took my son back from Brent who had him sitting up in the crook of his arm while he harrased the other two guys. I leaned over to run my fingers through his hair and noted that he was needing a haircut so I would probably have to make an appointment for him or he would never remember to do it until he looked like a homeless person.

" Something wrong?" he asked as he tilted his head backwards to look at me

" Not a thing. Just thinking about how much I love you," I said

" That's good because I love you too." he said with a grin before turning his attention back to the game

" Aww what about me? Don't you love me too?" Seabs pretend whined

" Nope. To be totally honest with you I really don't even like you. I just put up with you because I have to." I replied trying not to smile as I said it

" Man you really know how to break a guy's heart." he said pretending to be wounded as he held his hand over his heart

" Oh I think that'll you'll survive." I said rolling my eyes
" Actually I've been talking to a girl." he said like he was proud of himself
" You know that one of those dolls that you can get off the internet doesn't count right seabs?" Patrick asked as he threw the game controller on the floor.
" Yeah they actually have to talk back for it to count as a relationship." Tazer chimed in
" Whatever you asses. She is a real person and for your information she is smart and hot and fun to talk to."
" So where did you meet this one. Please tell me it wasn't at one of the clubs." I said as we all turned our attention to him
" Actually we met a longtime ago. She is the daughter of the billet family that I stayed with in Lethbridge and I invited the whole family to my cup party."
" Wow so you've guys known each other for awhile then."
" Yeah but the funny part is that she was only twelve when I moved in with her family. All I remember from the three years that I was there was this akward quiet girl with braces. When I saw her I couldn't believe how much has changed over the years. She became this hot confident women and we exchanged numbers and have been talking on and off ever since.
I saw the distant dreamy look on his face and I could tell that he was infatuated with this mystery women. Of course the guys couldn't resist the opportunity to give him hell and I moved out of the way so I wouldn't get caught in the middle of the wrestling match that had commenced on the floor. I was getting kind of tired anyways so I went and took AJ upstairs so we could both take a nap.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Big Headaches Chapter 37

I was going through my posts and I saw the one I posted on knowing when to end a story. It's kind of crazy that since then I have posted eleven more chapters. That just goes to show you that comments can be really important because I know that this story wouldn't be what it is right now without the inspiration that I got from one. To be totally honest I was all ready to write a " They got married, had a ton more kids and lived happily ever after" ending because I had no idea what to do next. I am going to try to update my other story and it's really hard for me to write both at the same time. mostly because I get confused between the two but I promise I won't make you wait too long and if for some reason I do feel free to comment/email me to give me a kick in the butt.

I felt someone prodding me and I wanted to yell at them because all I wanted to do was sleep because my head was killing me but whoever it was was persistant and it took all of my willpower to open my eyes. I saw a stranger in a white coat looking at me and it took a few seconds to figure out where I was. I looked around and saw what appeared to be a hospital room and more importantly I was the person in the bed.

" Hi. It's good to see you awake. I'm doctor Carlson. You were in an accident and hit your head pretty hard.

So that's what had happened. I had a foggy recollection of being tired and then nothing after that but I guess that would be why my head felt like it wanted to explode. Even though my head hurt my mind instantly went to how badly I was injured. I tried to move my hands and then my feet and was glad to find that I could do both with very little effort. The doctor was talking to me, asking me the normal questions that one would ask of someone that had a head injury. I knew who I was, what year it was and every other question that he asked so I guess it wasn't too bad.

He finished his exam and sat down on the edge of the bed so he could tell me what was going on.

" We did a catscan when you arrived and we found some bleeding in temporal lobe and we sedated you in case we had to do any emergency procedures but thankfully it seems to have stopped. Now we just have to worry about post concussion syndrome. I'll have the nurse give you some info on it later. As far as the rest of you it seems like alot of deep bruising.

I already knew what the symptoms of post concussion syndrome having been around hockey players for as long as I have. It was different for each person but could include headaches, irritiability and difficulty concentrating among other things.

" I'd like to observe you one more night just to make sure that everything is okay. You have people in the waiting room that would like to see you if you are up for it."

" Yeah I would like that." He left and a few minutes later my mom came in with AJ. She started to cry and hugged me hard enough that it really kind of hurt but I didn't complain. Adam and Karri came in next and gave me the lecture about how stupid I had been and again I took it with a smile on my face, just glad that I was around to hear it.

" Patrick is the only one left to see you but he wanted me to make sure that it was alright with you first. The doctor recommended that we try to not stress you right now since it might make any symptoms that come up in the next few days worse." Karri said slipping into the role of caretaker

" If it gets too intense I will kick him out." I promised, wanting to make sure that he was going to be allowed to come in.

" Fine. Give us a few minutes then and we'll send him in" she said as they both gave me hugs before leaving. I did wait a few minutes and I was starting to think that he had changed his mind but he finally appeared and I when I saw him I could tell how badly he had taken it. His hair was sticking up every where and he had bags under his eyes like he hadn't slept at all. He came over and sat beside me and grabbed my hand before he started talking.

" I was so scared when I got the phonecall about what had happened. All the cops could tell us was that there had been a pretty bad accident and that you had to be cut out of the car before you were transported here by ambulance. I drove here as fast as I could and the whole time I kept thinking that you had to be okay because if you weren't then I would never forgive myself for how I acted towards you. It was stupid and selfish and this has made me realize how much I love you and that I should never take anything for granted because it could be gone tommorrow."

I pulled on his hand so that he had to stand up and I kept on pulling until he leaned over far enough so I could kiss him without moving my head to much. He gently cupped my face and kissed me back.

" Did you and Taze kiss and make up yet? He was pretty pissed at you." I asked wanting to make sure that they were okay too

" Yeah I called and apologized last night. The only reason that I got so mad in the first place was because I knew he was right about everything and I didn't want to hear it."

There was just one more thing that I wanted to get off my chest before I could really feel like we were heading in the right direction.

" I know that you were furious with me when you left the house that day but it really scared the shit out of me when Tazer called and said that you were so messsed up that you couldn't barely walk or talk you were so drunk. You could have gotten hurt or in trouble."

" I know and it won't happen again. Besides Taze wasn't too happy that he had to clean my puke up off of his living room carpet and you know how he is so he already gave me the lecture about needing to be more mature."

I sighed as my head started to pound even worse from all of the talking that I had done with everyone. I must have been making faces because Patrick asked me if I was okay and when I told him how bad my headache was he called a nurse into the room to deal with it. I swallowed the pill she gave me without question and it only took a few minutes for me to start getting sleepy so I guess it was something more than an aspirin. The last thing I heard before I closed my eyes was Patrick telling me that he would still be there when I woke up.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Irrational Emotions Chapter 36

Thanks for the virtual chicken soup. That was very sweet of you. Thankfully I am starting to feel a little better so hopefully by the end of this week I'l be good as new.Or at least that's what the doctor is telling me and since the man has a couple hundred grand worth of education he should know what he's talking about right?

I woke up early the next morning and tried to decide if showing up at the game was as good of an idea as it seemed before I went to sleep. I talked to my mom and she offered to keep the baby overnight so I could figure things out without having to worry about him. I waited until I had to leave so I wouldn't get there too early. I was nervous about facing him, and didn't have a very good feeling about the outcome. If what the guys were telling me was true, and I had no reason not to believe them, he was being really moody and nasty to everyone. I didn't want to hear the words that I knew I was going to hear but I guess it was better to just get it over with, kind of like ripping off a band-aid even though you know it's going to hurt like hell. I got to the arena and I waited until I knew that the guys were going to be on the ice to warm up before I headed inside. I found Karri and I went to apologize one more time but she shushed me and told me that we could talk about it later. The guys were already on the ice and I watched him as he skated around like he really wasn't interested in being there. I watched as Tazer skated over to him and said something and he responded by just shrugging his shoulders and skating off into the corner, where he took a couple of half ass shots at the net before finally going back to the locker room. I could tell that it was going to be a bad game and unfortunatly it was, at least for him. They were playing against the Canucks, which was always hard since they had such a rivalry over the years and Patrick took not one but three really stupid penalties. In the end they were shut out by the Canuck three nothing.

" This is a bad idea. I shouldn't be here right now." I said trying to not sound as scared as I was

" I know that this isn't the best time but you really need to do this.Come on." Karri grabbed my arm and started to pull me towards the locker room. I thought about digging in my heels but I didn't think that it would really do me any good. We had to wait for the guys to start coming out and the mood was grim.

" He's still in most of his gear if you want to go talk to him. " Seabs said to me as him and Duncs walked out and towards the exit

" Yeah and maybe you can do us all a favor and tell him that he really needs to get the stick out of his ass. He won't listen to any of us." Duncs added as they were walking away

Apparently they didn't have any idea that I was the reason that he had the stick up his ass. I went to walk in and heard the sound of a voice. I thought I knew who it was but I was one hundred percent sure so I walked farther in a peeked around the corner

" Man you are such a fucking hypocrite. You fucked some random chick while she was pregnant and she forgave you. Now that she makes one mistake and here you sit ready to throw everything away over a stupid kiss. And then to top it off you basically throw away the game acting like a two year old."

I saw Tazer and Patrick standing toe to toe with each other, well as much as their height difference allowed. They were both red faced and I could guess by the yelling that I had just heard that they were in the middle of a fight, a fight that was mostly about me. Neither of them acknowledged that I was in the room even though I cleared my throat to let them know that I was there. I went to where they were both standing and tried to get Jonathans attention by grabbing his arm. I might as well have been trying to move a brick wall for all of the good it did me.

" Taze, come on. Please just go home and let me deal with this." He didn't anwser or budge and I tried one more time

" Jon please. I know that you are trying to help but it isn't. Go home." I said in my best mom voice and it must have worked because he finally turned enough to look at me like he was contemplating listening to me. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly and it was like all of the anger that was visable before drained out of his body.

" Fine your right. He isn't going to listen to me anyway so there really isn't any point to this anyway. Will you be okay if I go."

" Yes I will. Promise."

I watched as he walked out of the room and when I turned around Patrick had his back to me and was yanking off what was left of his gear.

" You know, he's right. You really are being a hypocrite." I said as I crossed my arms in front of my chest. He slowly turned around to look at me like I was being crazy, but I wasn't about to back down.

" I can't defend what I did. It was wrong and I knew it. But he is right." He stopped what he was doing and finally looked at me for the first time since I had walked in to the room

" I know that I'm not being fair but I can't help the way that I feel. " he said shrugging

" Am I ever going to get a chance to make this right?" I asked dreading the anwser

" Honestly I really don't know right now. I just need some time and space to think about things."

I wanted to argue with him but I could tell by the set of his body that it wasn't going to have any effect.

" Whenever your willing to talk let me know okay."

He didn't say anything to acknowledge what I had just said. He went back to stripping off the rest of his sweaty underarmor and I got the very distinct feeling that he was dismissing me. I wanted to say more but it would have been useless. I went to leave and I was really hoping that everyone would be gone but I should have known that Karri and Adam would be waiting to see what happened. I started to cry and that pretty much anwsered any questions that they had. They both tried to reassure me but it didn't do much good. I knew that I still wanted to talk to Karri and I think that Adam sensed it because he asked me to give her a ride home. We jumped into my car and made our way to a little diner that the team occasionally went to. I sat and I tried to think of a way that I could ask her what was on her mind but she brought it up before I had the chance.

" I know that you must think that I am crazy for how I am handling this but I really meant what I said."

I did think that she was crazy and I still really didn't understand where she was coming from.

" Do you remember the conversation we had before when you basically told me that he was going to propose to me, that I just had to be patient?"

" Yeah it was the same day that I got my ring from Patrick."

" Well a part of me really wanted him to ask but a part of me wasn't sure that I was going to say yes if he did."

" What?" I asked surprised

" Something happened that I never told you about. The first time I ever met his sister she commented on how much alike we were. I didn't really think anything of it at the time but I started to wonder about it. I think that there was a part of me that always worried that he was with me because he couldn't have you and that I was a replacement for you. I just never said anything because I didn't want to come off as the jealous, stupid girlfriend and besides you are my friend and you had never given me a reason to think that you felt anything but friendship towards Adam."

" That still doesn't explain why you don't want to claw my eyes out."

" Let me finish and it should make more sense. After you told Patrick what happened Adam told me because he figured that it would be better to hear it from him instead of someone else. I'm not going to lie, I did hate you, for a few minutes at least. I wanted to leave right then but he made me stay long enough to listen to what he had to say and I am glad that I did. He told me that he had always wondered if he had made a mistake in not telling you how he felt all of that time ago and even though he cared about me he didn't think that it was fair to me that we get married while he still felt that way. When you guys kissed I guess it made him realize that any feelings that he may have had for you like that had faded and that I was the one that he really wanted. He didn't have to wonder anymore and I don't think that there was really anything else that could have happened to make that doubt go away. I know that it was basically the same for you. So I know that won't happen again because you both now know that what you have right in front of you is what you really want. So yeah that's pretty much it. Did that make sense?"

" Yeah I think that it does. If you don't mind I think that I'm going to head back to my mom's."

She tried to talk me into staying but I wasn't going to be talked into it. All I wanted to do was see my son and then climb into a nice warm bed so I could sleep off some of the emotional weakness that I was feeling. I climbed into my car and started the drive back. It wasn't horribly late but I was exhausted and I could feel my eyes start to droop a little. I sped up a little trying to make up some time but that wasn't a good idea either. The next thing that I knew my body was being jerked against the seatbelt as I slammed into something. I think that my head hit the steering wheel because everything got fuzzy and went black