Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
I was waiting in the kitchen for Erica to come home from her date with Tazer. Patrick had wanted to do it but I knew that he would freak out if she was later than she said she was going to be and I knew that it wouldn't be good. Since it was proven that I didn't give myself permanent brain damage in the accident I had resumed my job hunt and made some calls. There were two that seemed promising so I was filling out online applications. I was in the middle of one when I realized that it was a little past eleven. I checked my phone and didn't find any missed messages or text and I debated about what to do. She was an adult and I wasn't her mother but I didn't want this to get off to a bad start with Patrick. I sent her a quick text to ask her if she planned on coming back to the house. It took a few minutes but I finally received one back. I guess they had went back to his place to watch a movie and fell asleep on the couch. Twenty minutes later I heard the front door open and the low murmer of voices. I didn't want to interrupt so I stayed put. She finally came into kitchen and threw herself into the chair with a sigh. I could tell by the look on her face that it had went well, but I asked anyway.
" Yeah it was great. We had a nice dinner and talked for a little while and then we went back to his place to watch a movie but honestly neither of us really paid any attention. We just sat together and he held me and kissed me and it was even better than I remember it being."
" You guys didn't um you know...."
She blinked at me a few minutes before what I was trying to ask finally dawned on her.
" Have sex?No but trust me I wanted to. If I could have jumped him the minute we got in his car I would have but he told me right away that he felt horrible for treating me like a puckslut the last time and that he wanted to take the time for us to really get to know each other before we did anything like that again."
She had the same dreamy far off look that Brent had when he told us about his girl and I was glad to see people that I loved dearly finding themselves good people that made them feel happy and loved.
" You know Brent's new girl is coming down at the end of the month to visit and meet everyone. Maybe if you aren't busy you could come down and we could all go out or something." I suggested
Her eyes lit up and she eagerly nodded her head.
" Yeah that sounds great. Just let me know when."
I got up and gave her shoulder a squeeze before I went upstairs. I was surprised to see that Patrick was still up.
" I take it Erica is home?"
" Yes and she is in one piece so you can get that look off of your face."
" Did she say anything?"
" They had a nice dinner and went back to his place and watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch." I said as I crawled into bed and cuddled up against him
" Are you sure that's what happened?" he said as he turned on his side. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him
" That's what she said and I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't lie to me. Besides I thought you didn't want to know any details."
" I don't but I just need to know that she isn't doing anything stupid."
God he sounded like a grumpy old man.
" She isn't and from what she told me Tazer wants to take things slow and really get to know her before they get to that point in their relationship."
He visably relaxed when I told him this and I was glad to see it. I knew that he had a game tommorrow and that he should really get some sleep but it looked like he had gotten himself so worked up that he was going to be wide awake for awhile. I knew that there was something that I could do to make him relax fully and I moved so we were laying facing each other. I kissed his lips and started to rub his bare arm up and down with just my fingertips. He pulled me against him so there was no space between us and we kissed like that for a few minutes before I pulled away. The kissing was great but it wasn't what I had in mind. I instructed him to lay down and he did without asking questions. I got on my knees and moved so I was situated between his legs. Even after all of this time I was still amazed that this perfect man belonged to me, and apparently I stared for longer then I realized because he looked at me with a grin.
" Are you just going to sit there and stare at me like a piece of meat or are you planning on doing something."
I fell on him and started to kiss his neck, probably leaving a mark but not really caring. I made my way down his shoulder to his chest where I spent time licking and kissing him, making him moan my name and I hadn't even gotten to the best part yet. I licked the light colored hairs that made up his happy trail. I could tell that he was getting impatient by the fact that he was trying to move his hips so he could rub his erection against my chest but I wasn't ready to get there just yet. As much as I wanted to please him, there was a part of me that enjoyed teasing him and now that I was in control I did just that. I rolled my eyes up so I could watch his face as I moved down and licked at his length through the thin fabric of the boxers that he was still wearing. He groaned and I knew that he had enough teasing. I sat up so I could strip his boxers off and took him in my mouth as fully as I could. Between my mouth and my hands it didn't take long for me to get him off. I moved back up beside him and laid so that the length of our bodies were touching.
" What do you want me to do to you?" whispered in my ear
" Don't worry about it right now. You have a game tomorrow and I don't have a problem with you owing me so for right now just go to sleep."
I stood up so I could go to the bathroom
" Are you sure. Trust me I wouldn't mind returning the favor right now." he said as he grinned at me
" Yes I'm sure. I'll be back in a minute."
I returned from the bathroom a few minutes later and I saw that my plan had worked. He was already sleeping when I returned. I took my customary spot next to him and he moved around so that his chest was against my back. He put his arm around my waist and threw a leg over mine. I was out myself a few minutes later.
Friday, May 7, 2010
" Really guys?" I said as I dug out the the next one. This one was even better. It was bright red and had the words certified milf. I just shook my head and put it down with the other one. The rest of the gifts that followed were pretty much the same. Adam and Karri bought me a naughty nurse outfit complete with a stethoscope and that was followed by a kit that included, among other things, a pair of pink furry handcuffs. I didn't think that I could get anymore embarresed but little did I know how wrong I was. I was told that there was one more present for me before we went to the bar and that it was from all of the guys. I looked around and didn't see anything so I was really confused. I watched as Adam went to his kitchen and grabbed a chair at the same time that Sharpie went to the stereo and started to mess with an ipod that was already plugged into it. I was pulled and sat right back down into the chair that had been placed at the center of the living room. As a wad of dollar bills were shoved into my hand it finally dawned on me what was going on. They had to have hired a stripper and if they did I was going to kill them. I waited and it only took a few minutes for me to hear the start of the song " Boom Boom Pow" by the Blackeyed Peas. My eye got wide and I looked around the room and didn't see the person that I was looking for. Oh hell no I was going to kill all of them. All of a sudden I heard everyone start to yell and hoot and when I looked over my shoulder and my eyes went huge as Steeger came prancing out of the hallway wearing nothing but a pair of black jeans and a bowtie. I could tell that he was enjoying himself as he came up to me and started to shake his butt in my face. I could feel my face turning red as he started to strip out of his jeans, leaving him with with just the bowtie and a speedo. He started to give me a lapdance and I started to shove the dollar bills in his speedo just to get this over with as soon as possible. Finally the song ended and thankfully he took a bow and went off to clapping and cheers.
" So did you like the team present?" Sharpie asked with a grin after everyone quieted down
" Seriously, Steeger?" I asked
" Well we were going to ask Buff to do it but Steeger already had the underware and bowtie so we figured we'd just let him do it. Besides did you see how much he enjoyed himself." Adam said not able to hide the shit eating grin on his face
" Yeah that was part of the problem. I think that he was enjoying himself a little too much." I muttered.
" Now how about we clean this place up and then head out to the bar?" Adam said
" Screw that. I'm the birthday girl. Clean it up your damnself." I huffed as I went back to the living room
A little while later we headed to the club that the team usually went to when we all went out. I had been forced into wearing the cougar shirt and a huge ridiculas pin that said spank me it's my birthday. We all got a couple of drinks in us and sat down to relax. I was feeling pretty good so I figured it was time to start dancing. I started dancing with Tazer, moved to Seabs and decided that I needed to find my boyfriend to dance with. I looked around the bar and my eyes narrowed as I saw him talking to a red head while he sat at the bar. He was facing her and she was leaned towards him and I really didn't like the body launguage that I was seeing from her. She might as well been wearing a huge sign that said easy lay. I had to admit that I was still feeling a little insecure about the whole age thing and seeing my cute younger fiancee flirt with a cute girl that was probably around the same age as him. I made my way to the bar and made a point of squeezing in between the two of them to get another drink. I felt a hand make it's way to my waist and I turned around sticking my boobs right in his face. I leaned forward and kissed his lips and made my way along his jaw to his ear.
" Who's your friend" I whispered into his ear before I started to kiss the skin directly behind it
" What are you talking about?" he asked as I pulled away. I couldn't help but grin.
" Never mind. Let's go dance." I said as I pulled him off the chair and onto the crowded floor. He's still not that big on dancing but he's gotten better and the alcohol in his system loosened him up enough that he was at least enjoying himself. We left a little before one since we had to get back. His family was in town to celebrate our birthdays and insisted that we go out to have a little time to get out and spend together. Despite now knowing what Steegers ass looked like, it had been a fun, relaxing night. When we got back home I went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and he followed closely behind me. I tried to ignore him as he pressed himself against my back and moved my hair our of the way so he could kiss the back of my neck. We were interuppted as someone came in the kitchen. I wiggled out of his arms and turned around to see his sister Erica standing in the doorway watching us.
" Don't let me interrupt." she mumbled " At least someone may be getting some tonight."
I turned and saw the look on Patrick's face and knew that if I didn't intervene that he was going to say something that would probably start a fight. As much as he didn't like it she was a grown women and she was going to do grownup things no matter what he thought or said.
" Babe why don't you head up to bed and I'll meet you upstairs in a few minutes." I said trying to defuse the situation. He looked like he was still going to say something but changed his mind. He gave me a kiss and and headed upstairs. I sat at the table and waited for Erica to spill whatever was on her mind.
" So was Jonathan at the bar with you guys tonight?" she asked looking at the table
" Yeah he was." I said not quite sure why she would be asking
" He didn't go home with anyone did he?" she asked me finally looking up at me
" No not that I know of but he isn't really the type to just pick random puckfucks all of the time."
She looked relieved at this little bit of info and it finally dawned on me why she was asking.
" Erica did something happen between you and Tazer?"
She bit her lip and nodded
" I've always thought Jon was cute and whenever I was around him he was really nice to me, flirting and stuff and I guess it was right before you guys met that I came down to visit for a weekend. Pat took me out to the bar with them even though I wasn't old enough and he was too busy fighting with Tina to be paying attention to what I was doing. I wanted to go home and Jon offered to take me because she wasn't ready to leave. When we got back here I invited him in and we ended up having sex on the couch." She looked like she was on the verge of crying and I scooted my chair over so I could give her a hug
" I really liked him and I know that he liked me but afterwards he said that it was a mistake, that Pat would kill the both of us if he ever found out what happened and as much as it pissed me off I knew that he was right. He got dressed and left and now he won't even look at me."
" I'm sorry sweetie."
" You know the worse part is that even though it was one time over two years ago I can't get it out of my head. I haven't told anyone this but the reason that my last boyfriend broke up with me was because I called him Jon in the middle of having sex with him. Needless to say that didn't go over well with him and he ended it the same night. Told me that it wasn't fair to be compared to someone like that."
" That fucking bastard. He's right I'm going to kill him." I heard Patrick say as he stood in the doorway. His face was red and he was clenching his hands into fists at his side. Erica and I both looked at each other with wide eyes as he turned around and headed into the living room. We both jumped up and went in after him to stop him from doing anything stupid. He was shoving his feet into his shoes.
" Patrick don't do anything stupid. I know that she is your little sister but she is an adult that can make her own decisions and you need to respect that.
"You are such a fucking hypocrite. Before you two got together you use to fuck whatever random chick that you found in the bar but I'm suppose to sit at home for the rest of my life and be a nun? You can go fuck yourself." she yelled
" Don't you get it? I'm your big brother. It's my job to protect you." he yelled back
" Maybe that was true a long time ago but I'm a big girl now. You have to let me make my own mistakes." She said as she sat down next to him and put her hand on his arm. All of the fight seemed to go out of both of them as they sat there in silence. I jumped as I felt a hand on my shoulder.
" Is everything all right? We thought that we heard someone yelling." his mom asked me as she looked over my shoulder at what was going on in front of us
" Everything is fine mom. You can go back to bed." he said in a voice that was slightly husky from the yelling
She looked at me and I nodded my head. She didn't ask anymore questions and headed back upstairs to go back to sleep. He pulled his sister towards him and gave her a kiss on the forehead before he let her go.
" I just don't want to see you get hurt that's all. I wasn't trying to be a jerk." he said with a sigh
" I know that you act the way that you do because you care but I promise that I'll be okay and if I get a broken heart then you'll both be there to help me pick it up and put it back together." she said looking at me for support
" That's what family does." I affirmed as I returned the smile that she gave me
" Well I guess you have my permission but just be warned that I don't ever want to hear any details ever and that you better not be stupid because if he knocks you up or hurts you I'll still be forced to kill him and I would prefer not to spend the rest of my life in jail because let's face it, I'm way to pretty and I don't feel like being the bitch of some big guy named bubba."
I knew that his lame attempt at humor was his way of letting us know that he was as okay with this as he was going to be. She gave him a sloppy kiss and jumped up and hugged me tightly
" Thanks. I really appreciate your help with this. I don't think that he would have ever listened to me."
" I wouldn't get yourself to worked up just yet. You still have to talk to Tazer." I said not wanting her to get her hopes up
"I know but I'm just excited that I have the chance to see if there is anything there like I think. At least if he shoots me down this time it won't be because my brother won't approve."
" I think that you should try to get some sleep, it's late." I watched as she bounded up the stairs
I went and sat on the couch where Patrick was still sitting with his head leaned back against the couch.
" Why do I feel like I was just ganged up on." he said with his eyes still closed.
" Because you were." I said with a small laugh
" I really hope I'm making the right decision." he said opening his eyes to look at me
" Well I do agree with her and at least we know that Tazer is a good guy. If I had a sister I would want her with someone like him. He's cute and mature and a sweetie and.. damn why am I with you again?" I said trying to joke around with him
" Well if you want maybe you and my sister can date him at the same time so you can keep an eye on them."
" Okay I'll give him a call tomorrow. Maybe we can set it up so I can have him on Mondays, Wensdays and Fridays and we can rotate weekends." I said like I was really thinking about it. He grabbed my arm and layed backwards pulling me on top of him.
" I change my mind. I don't think I'll be very good at sharing." he said as he cupped my face and pulled me towards him so he could kiss me.
" That's good cause I think that you are stuck with me at this point." I said as his hands started to roam over my lower back
" There is nobody else that I would rather be stuck with. Why don't we head up to bed. This whole night has been exhausting.
I agreed and gave him my hand to help him up after I managed to crawl off of him. He took my hand and I followed him up to our bedroom, only stopping to check on AJ before we both fell into bed.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Hope everything is going well with your story and if you want you can always email me if you need any help with anything. So I realized that the timeline for this story is confusing because I am not very good at keeping track of where I am at with that. So they met a day before their twenty-eigth and twenty-first birthdays. They started dating january of the next year and she got pregnant in june and they would have celebrated another birthday a piece making that a year. She had the baby in March and I've wrote that he is already around eight months old already which would make it close to their birthdays yet again. So to recap the Baby is around eight months old and they both will be celebrating their 30 and 23rd birthdays, which makes it almost two years since they first met and almost two years since they have started dating. Man I hope all of that makes sense to someone cause I'm really confused right now.lol. If something in this doesn't sound right please let me know because I'm really to lazy to go back and read the whole story right now.
It had been almost two weeks since my accident and while it was getting better I was still having some issues with headaches and being cranky. It helped that my mom had offered to help until I felt well enough to be able to take care of things on my own. The guys were being great, offering to help when they were around and giving me tips to heal quicker. I was sitting on the couch when Patrick came home from practice and brought a few of the guys with him.
" So it's almost time for someone to turn thirty." Seabs said as he plopped down beside me
" Thanks for reminding me you asshole." I said as I punched him in the arm. He pretended to be hurt as he rubbed his arm
" Are you guys planning on doing something this year since we'll be in town?" Tazer asked as he he came out of the kitchen, having rooted around in our fridge for something to eat
" I don't know, I haven't talked to Patrick about it yet but as far as I'm concerned I'm not having anymore birthdays. I'm going to be twenty-nine for the rest of my life."
Patrick came down the stairs with AJ on his hip. I couldn't believe that it had already been almost eight months since he had been born. He was talking up a storm and no matter what kind of mood I was in he never failed to make me smile. He was already trying to pull himself up on stuff and was calling us mama and dada, which especially thrilled Patrick. He sat him down on the floor and gave him one of the mini sticks that he had bought awhile ago and took the other one as he sat across from him and gently hit the little foam ball towards AJ.
" Come on hit it back to daddy." he tried to coax. It was so cute that I couldn't help but laugh. AJ tried to swipe at the ball but ended up missing it completly and falling over. He pouted for a minute before crawling over to the couch and using Brent's pants to pull himself up.
" Come here." Brent cooed as AJ held his hand up to him to be picked up. Brent sat him on his knee and started to bounce him around, causing him to giggle. Patrick went and turned on the ps3 and brought both controllers with him. He threw one to Taze before he settled himself against my legs. Ever since the accident these were the kinds of things that I realized I shouldn't take for granted. I would take boring and routine over being six feet under any day. I got up to make a few phonecalls since the guys were making a lot of noise. I called my mom to let her know that everything was going okay and that I was feeling okay. She had been worried when I sent her home so I had to reassure her. The next phonecall was to our wedding planner to let her know that yes the wedding was still on. The last one was to check on Anna to see how she was feeling. She was just starting to show but she was doing well, just tired and constantly hungry according to her. We talked for a few more minutes before I let her go. I went back into the living room and squished myself between the two men and took my son back from Brent who had him sitting up in the crook of his arm while he harrased the other two guys. I leaned over to run my fingers through his hair and noted that he was needing a haircut so I would probably have to make an appointment for him or he would never remember to do it until he looked like a homeless person.
" Something wrong?" he asked as he tilted his head backwards to look at me
" Not a thing. Just thinking about how much I love you," I said
" That's good because I love you too." he said with a grin before turning his attention back to the game
" Aww what about me? Don't you love me too?" Seabs pretend whined
" Nope. To be totally honest with you I really don't even like you. I just put up with you because I have to." I replied trying not to smile as I said it
" Man you really know how to break a guy's heart." he said pretending to be wounded as he held his hand over his heart
" Oh I think that'll you'll survive." I said rolling my eyes
" Actually I've been talking to a girl." he said like he was proud of himself
" You know that one of those dolls that you can get off the internet doesn't count right seabs?" Patrick asked as he threw the game controller on the floor.
" Yeah they actually have to talk back for it to count as a relationship." Tazer chimed in
" Whatever you asses. She is a real person and for your information she is smart and hot and fun to talk to."
" So where did you meet this one. Please tell me it wasn't at one of the clubs." I said as we all turned our attention to him
" Actually we met a longtime ago. She is the daughter of the billet family that I stayed with in Lethbridge and I invited the whole family to my cup party."
" Wow so you've guys known each other for awhile then."
" Yeah but the funny part is that she was only twelve when I moved in with her family. All I remember from the three years that I was there was this akward quiet girl with braces. When I saw her I couldn't believe how much has changed over the years. She became this hot confident women and we exchanged numbers and have been talking on and off ever since.
I saw the distant dreamy look on his face and I could tell that he was infatuated with this mystery women. Of course the guys couldn't resist the opportunity to give him hell and I moved out of the way so I wouldn't get caught in the middle of the wrestling match that had commenced on the floor. I was getting kind of tired anyways so I went and took AJ upstairs so we could both take a nap.
Monday, May 3, 2010
I felt someone prodding me and I wanted to yell at them because all I wanted to do was sleep because my head was killing me but whoever it was was persistant and it took all of my willpower to open my eyes. I saw a stranger in a white coat looking at me and it took a few seconds to figure out where I was. I looked around and saw what appeared to be a hospital room and more importantly I was the person in the bed.
" Hi. It's good to see you awake. I'm doctor Carlson. You were in an accident and hit your head pretty hard.
So that's what had happened. I had a foggy recollection of being tired and then nothing after that but I guess that would be why my head felt like it wanted to explode. Even though my head hurt my mind instantly went to how badly I was injured. I tried to move my hands and then my feet and was glad to find that I could do both with very little effort. The doctor was talking to me, asking me the normal questions that one would ask of someone that had a head injury. I knew who I was, what year it was and every other question that he asked so I guess it wasn't too bad.
He finished his exam and sat down on the edge of the bed so he could tell me what was going on.
" We did a catscan when you arrived and we found some bleeding in temporal lobe and we sedated you in case we had to do any emergency procedures but thankfully it seems to have stopped. Now we just have to worry about post concussion syndrome. I'll have the nurse give you some info on it later. As far as the rest of you it seems like alot of deep bruising.
I already knew what the symptoms of post concussion syndrome having been around hockey players for as long as I have. It was different for each person but could include headaches, irritiability and difficulty concentrating among other things.
" I'd like to observe you one more night just to make sure that everything is okay. You have people in the waiting room that would like to see you if you are up for it."
" Yeah I would like that." He left and a few minutes later my mom came in with AJ. She started to cry and hugged me hard enough that it really kind of hurt but I didn't complain. Adam and Karri came in next and gave me the lecture about how stupid I had been and again I took it with a smile on my face, just glad that I was around to hear it.
" Patrick is the only one left to see you but he wanted me to make sure that it was alright with you first. The doctor recommended that we try to not stress you right now since it might make any symptoms that come up in the next few days worse." Karri said slipping into the role of caretaker
" If it gets too intense I will kick him out." I promised, wanting to make sure that he was going to be allowed to come in.
" Fine. Give us a few minutes then and we'll send him in" she said as they both gave me hugs before leaving. I did wait a few minutes and I was starting to think that he had changed his mind but he finally appeared and I when I saw him I could tell how badly he had taken it. His hair was sticking up every where and he had bags under his eyes like he hadn't slept at all. He came over and sat beside me and grabbed my hand before he started talking.
" I was so scared when I got the phonecall about what had happened. All the cops could tell us was that there had been a pretty bad accident and that you had to be cut out of the car before you were transported here by ambulance. I drove here as fast as I could and the whole time I kept thinking that you had to be okay because if you weren't then I would never forgive myself for how I acted towards you. It was stupid and selfish and this has made me realize how much I love you and that I should never take anything for granted because it could be gone tommorrow."
I pulled on his hand so that he had to stand up and I kept on pulling until he leaned over far enough so I could kiss him without moving my head to much. He gently cupped my face and kissed me back.
" Did you and Taze kiss and make up yet? He was pretty pissed at you." I asked wanting to make sure that they were okay too
" Yeah I called and apologized last night. The only reason that I got so mad in the first place was because I knew he was right about everything and I didn't want to hear it."
There was just one more thing that I wanted to get off my chest before I could really feel like we were heading in the right direction.
" I know that you were furious with me when you left the house that day but it really scared the shit out of me when Tazer called and said that you were so messsed up that you couldn't barely walk or talk you were so drunk. You could have gotten hurt or in trouble."
" I know and it won't happen again. Besides Taze wasn't too happy that he had to clean my puke up off of his living room carpet and you know how he is so he already gave me the lecture about needing to be more mature."
I sighed as my head started to pound even worse from all of the talking that I had done with everyone. I must have been making faces because Patrick asked me if I was okay and when I told him how bad my headache was he called a nurse into the room to deal with it. I swallowed the pill she gave me without question and it only took a few minutes for me to start getting sleepy so I guess it was something more than an aspirin. The last thing I heard before I closed my eyes was Patrick telling me that he would still be there when I woke up.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
I woke up early the next morning and tried to decide if showing up at the game was as good of an idea as it seemed before I went to sleep. I talked to my mom and she offered to keep the baby overnight so I could figure things out without having to worry about him. I waited until I had to leave so I wouldn't get there too early. I was nervous about facing him, and didn't have a very good feeling about the outcome. If what the guys were telling me was true, and I had no reason not to believe them, he was being really moody and nasty to everyone. I didn't want to hear the words that I knew I was going to hear but I guess it was better to just get it over with, kind of like ripping off a band-aid even though you know it's going to hurt like hell. I got to the arena and I waited until I knew that the guys were going to be on the ice to warm up before I headed inside. I found Karri and I went to apologize one more time but she shushed me and told me that we could talk about it later. The guys were already on the ice and I watched him as he skated around like he really wasn't interested in being there. I watched as Tazer skated over to him and said something and he responded by just shrugging his shoulders and skating off into the corner, where he took a couple of half ass shots at the net before finally going back to the locker room. I could tell that it was going to be a bad game and unfortunatly it was, at least for him. They were playing against the Canucks, which was always hard since they had such a rivalry over the years and Patrick took not one but three really stupid penalties. In the end they were shut out by the Canuck three nothing.
" This is a bad idea. I shouldn't be here right now." I said trying to not sound as scared as I was
" I know that this isn't the best time but you really need to do this.Come on." Karri grabbed my arm and started to pull me towards the locker room. I thought about digging in my heels but I didn't think that it would really do me any good. We had to wait for the guys to start coming out and the mood was grim.
" He's still in most of his gear if you want to go talk to him. " Seabs said to me as him and Duncs walked out and towards the exit
" Yeah and maybe you can do us all a favor and tell him that he really needs to get the stick out of his ass. He won't listen to any of us." Duncs added as they were walking away
Apparently they didn't have any idea that I was the reason that he had the stick up his ass. I went to walk in and heard the sound of a voice. I thought I knew who it was but I was one hundred percent sure so I walked farther in a peeked around the corner
" Man you are such a fucking hypocrite. You fucked some random chick while she was pregnant and she forgave you. Now that she makes one mistake and here you sit ready to throw everything away over a stupid kiss. And then to top it off you basically throw away the game acting like a two year old."
I saw Tazer and Patrick standing toe to toe with each other, well as much as their height difference allowed. They were both red faced and I could guess by the yelling that I had just heard that they were in the middle of a fight, a fight that was mostly about me. Neither of them acknowledged that I was in the room even though I cleared my throat to let them know that I was there. I went to where they were both standing and tried to get Jonathans attention by grabbing his arm. I might as well have been trying to move a brick wall for all of the good it did me.
" Taze, come on. Please just go home and let me deal with this." He didn't anwser or budge and I tried one more time
" Jon please. I know that you are trying to help but it isn't. Go home." I said in my best mom voice and it must have worked because he finally turned enough to look at me like he was contemplating listening to me. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly and it was like all of the anger that was visable before drained out of his body.
" Fine your right. He isn't going to listen to me anyway so there really isn't any point to this anyway. Will you be okay if I go."
" Yes I will. Promise."
I watched as he walked out of the room and when I turned around Patrick had his back to me and was yanking off what was left of his gear.
" You know, he's right. You really are being a hypocrite." I said as I crossed my arms in front of my chest. He slowly turned around to look at me like I was being crazy, but I wasn't about to back down.
" I can't defend what I did. It was wrong and I knew it. But he is right." He stopped what he was doing and finally looked at me for the first time since I had walked in to the room
" I know that I'm not being fair but I can't help the way that I feel. " he said shrugging
" Am I ever going to get a chance to make this right?" I asked dreading the anwser
" Honestly I really don't know right now. I just need some time and space to think about things."
I wanted to argue with him but I could tell by the set of his body that it wasn't going to have any effect.
" Whenever your willing to talk let me know okay."
He didn't say anything to acknowledge what I had just said. He went back to stripping off the rest of his sweaty underarmor and I got the very distinct feeling that he was dismissing me. I wanted to say more but it would have been useless. I went to leave and I was really hoping that everyone would be gone but I should have known that Karri and Adam would be waiting to see what happened. I started to cry and that pretty much anwsered any questions that they had. They both tried to reassure me but it didn't do much good. I knew that I still wanted to talk to Karri and I think that Adam sensed it because he asked me to give her a ride home. We jumped into my car and made our way to a little diner that the team occasionally went to. I sat and I tried to think of a way that I could ask her what was on her mind but she brought it up before I had the chance.
" I know that you must think that I am crazy for how I am handling this but I really meant what I said."
I did think that she was crazy and I still really didn't understand where she was coming from.
" Do you remember the conversation we had before when you basically told me that he was going to propose to me, that I just had to be patient?"
" Yeah it was the same day that I got my ring from Patrick."
" Well a part of me really wanted him to ask but a part of me wasn't sure that I was going to say yes if he did."
" What?" I asked surprised
" Something happened that I never told you about. The first time I ever met his sister she commented on how much alike we were. I didn't really think anything of it at the time but I started to wonder about it. I think that there was a part of me that always worried that he was with me because he couldn't have you and that I was a replacement for you. I just never said anything because I didn't want to come off as the jealous, stupid girlfriend and besides you are my friend and you had never given me a reason to think that you felt anything but friendship towards Adam."
" That still doesn't explain why you don't want to claw my eyes out."
" Let me finish and it should make more sense. After you told Patrick what happened Adam told me because he figured that it would be better to hear it from him instead of someone else. I'm not going to lie, I did hate you, for a few minutes at least. I wanted to leave right then but he made me stay long enough to listen to what he had to say and I am glad that I did. He told me that he had always wondered if he had made a mistake in not telling you how he felt all of that time ago and even though he cared about me he didn't think that it was fair to me that we get married while he still felt that way. When you guys kissed I guess it made him realize that any feelings that he may have had for you like that had faded and that I was the one that he really wanted. He didn't have to wonder anymore and I don't think that there was really anything else that could have happened to make that doubt go away. I know that it was basically the same for you. So I know that won't happen again because you both now know that what you have right in front of you is what you really want. So yeah that's pretty much it. Did that make sense?"
" Yeah I think that it does. If you don't mind I think that I'm going to head back to my mom's."
She tried to talk me into staying but I wasn't going to be talked into it. All I wanted to do was see my son and then climb into a nice warm bed so I could sleep off some of the emotional weakness that I was feeling. I climbed into my car and started the drive back. It wasn't horribly late but I was exhausted and I could feel my eyes start to droop a little. I sped up a little trying to make up some time but that wasn't a good idea either. The next thing that I knew my body was being jerked against the seatbelt as I slammed into something. I think that my head hit the steering wheel because everything got fuzzy and went black
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
To EHisCdn. I was shocked to see that someone commented before you too. I guess that you need to pick it up! lol Let me know what you think of this one because I wasn't really sure who it should be. Again I wrote a couple of different versions and I thought that this one would be the most unexpected.
I opened the door a little wider and stared at the person who was standing on the doorstep.
" Hey Nik, what are you doing here?" I asked trying to not sound as surprised as I was
" Adam knew I was in town visiting mom and dad and he called and told me what happened. He asked me to come over and check on you."
I was surprised that she would even do that because frankly she hated me, at least I had always thought so. She had never given me any indication otherwise
" Let's get it straight that I don't care how you feel right now. I'm only here because Adam asked me and frankly I think that what you did was really shitty." she said as if she was reading my mind
" I know it was and trust me if I could take it back I would. I really had no idea how he felt all of these years."
" I find it really hard to believe that you didn't know. I always thought that you were taking advantage of his feelings."
I shook my head. That would explain the anomosity that was present in our relationship since we had met.
" I'm sorry but I didn't. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. I hope you know that."
She turned her head and looked at me like she was thinking about what I said. She finally nodded her head like she believed what I had said.
" You know that he is in a really good place in his life right now. He is playing well and finally found someone that compares to you that he actually wants to settle down with. Do what ever you need to do to fix it."
I swallowed and nodded once again, afraid that if I spoke that any words that I would try to say wouldn't come out right anyway.
" I'll call Adam and let him know that you are here and okay." She said as she turned around and headed out to her car without saying goodbye. I shut the door behind me and thought about what she had told me, which was basically the same thing that my mother had told me. I turned on my phone and saw that I had several missed phonecalls and text messages, mostly from the guys teammates wanting to know what was going on. I scrolled through them and my heart stuttered in my chest when I came across one from earlier in the day. All it said was " He told me what happened." Shit now I had another person to deal with. All I wanted to do was crawl into a little hole somewhere and die, the sooner the better. I text Karri to see if she was still up and if she wanted to talk to me and my phone rang a few minutes later. I tentantivly brought the phone up to my ear, again waiting for the yelling and again not getting it.
" Hello." She greeted me in a voice that seemed awfully calm for the situation that we were in.
" Umm hi Karri. I guess that we need to talk."
" Yeah but before you say anything I would like to have my say, if that's okay with you."
I agreed, it was the least that I could do.
" I was mad at first and I wanted to hate you, but in all honesty I'm glad that you did what you did. He told me that before the kiss that he was having reservations about wanting to marry me because there was still a part of him that wasn't sure that he was entirely over his romantic feelings for you. Afterwards he said he knew that it he was over it and knew that he could commit to me fully and that he might have never known for sure otherwise.
" So... Your not mad at me?" I said not wanting to push the issue but needing to be reassured
" Not really. It was something that happened and something good came out of it so it's all water under the bridge as far as I'm concerned. As long as you don't plan on it happening again."
" Trust me, won't happen again. If anything it had the same effect on me too. It made me realize that I do love Patrick and that I was stupid for even questioning how I felt about him.
" Good that was what I figured and now that is out of the way, are you coming to the game tommorrow?"
" I don't think that Patrick is going to be as forgiving as you. "
" Oh come on. I need my friend to sit with and Adam wants to apologize for yelling at you. Please?"
" Okay. Fine." I huffed into the phone receiver
" So I'll see you then."
I hung up my phone and tried to sleep afterwards. I couldn't believe that she had taken that so well. Of course maybe getting me to come to the game was a ploy to get me alone so she could choke me or something. I guess it had to be a risk that I was willing to take if I wanted a chance to make things up to the one person that mattered the most
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
" Did you make that doctors appointment yet?" he asked as I went around the kitchen cleaning up the non existent mess in an effort to keep myself busy.
" No I didn't but babe you really need to stop worrying. I'm fine." I said in my best reassuring tone
" Man if I didn't know you and Burs better I would think that there was something going on. He was acting really weird when I called him today."
I knew by the tone of his voice that he meant it as a joke but my body instantly went still. I took a deep breath and turned around to face him, dropping the sponge that I had been cleaning with onto the counter.
" Patrick there is something that I have to tell you." I said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. I couldn't even look at him and as I started to talk the words just came pouring out of my mouth like I had to get them all out in one breath
" I kissed Adam. I don't know why I did it but I did and I'm really sorry. I was just confused and I promise that it didn't mean anything and that it will never ever happen again." I was still looking at the floor and I waited for the yelling that I was sure was to follow my little outburst but nothing came. I finally peeked up and saw a look of total shock on his face. It took a few minutes of silence but finally he got up and left without a word. Once again I started to cry but I couldn't wallow in my misery for long since I had someone else who depended on me to take care of them and I couldn't very well do that if I was a complete wreck. I figured that he would have to come back sooner or later either to talk or to get his stuff and I knew that I had needed the distance and I figured that he would too. A few hours passed and I still hadn't heard from him and I was starting to get worried. Right before I went to bed I got a call from Tazer.
" Mel Patrick just showed up at my door drunker then hell asking me if he could spend the night. What the hell is going on between you two?"
I winced as he described the state that he was in. I only hoped that he hadn't done anything stupid while getting that drunk.
" Did he say anything?" I asked not wanting to tell Tazer anymore than I had to.
" Not anything that made any sense. But then again he could barely walk, much less talk. So..."
" We just had a fight that's all. Please just do me a huge favor and make sure that he is taken care of for the rest of the night. If he wants to tell you more he can do it then."
" Sure I can do that. Do you want me to try to get him to call you in the morning or something."
" You can try but I highly doubt that he will want to speak with me."
" Okay. Mel I'm sure what ever it was that happened can be fixed. You guys have been through to much together for him to throw it all away over something stupid."
" Yeah I hope so. Thanks."
In all of this I hadn't considered telling Adam what was going on. He was probably the first person that I should have called when shit hit the fan but I was to busy wallowing in my own misery to think about what all of this might mean for him. I quickly dialed his number and it almost went to voicemail before he picked up.
" So I guess you just couldn't keep shit to yourself." he said instead of a greeting
" I couldn't help it. I had to tell him Bur."
" Yeah well thanks for the warning. He showed up here yesterday night and told me if I so much as look at you again that he is going to do everything in his power to get my ass traded to the maple leafs or some other shitty canadian team."
" He can't do that, can he?"
" I don't know but if they had to choose between me and him who do you think that they would pick?"
" Does Karri know?"
" No. At least I don't think so. She was out shopping when he showed up."
" I'll try to do whatever I can to fix this. I promise."
With that he hung up the phone on me. I looked at the phone for a few seconds in shock. In all of the time that we had known each other he had never talked to me like that and frankly it was a little scary to hear him that angry. It was just one more thing to have to deal with after things hopefully cooled down. As much as I just wanted to sit I knew that I had better get things started for breakfast since it was almost time for AJ to get up and he wouldn't care. I went to get him a little while later and sat him in his high chair to feed him. Despite everything I found myself smiling as he cooed and tried to talk. It was nice to know that I had one thing in my life that I hadn't managed to screw up, at least not yet. I had thought about turning my phone off after the conversation that I had had with Adam but I couldn't do it, not on the slim chance that Patrick might call me to talk. He didn't and I wasn't surprised at all. I knew what I needed to do and I made a few calls before I packed a couple of small bags and headed up to stay with my mom for a few days. I text Pat to let him know that I wasn't in the house and that he could come home if he wanted to but I never got a reply. One phone call and three hours later I was pulling into the driveway of my parents house. My mom came out gave me a hug before taking the baby and going inside. She didn't press for information and I was glad. She knew that eventually I would tell her what was going on and I knew that I could count on her to give me advice, even if it was something that I wasn't going to want to hear. I turned off my phone and put it away. The only person who needed to know where I was right now did and he had my mothers number if he really needed to get a hold of me that badly. It wasn't until after dinner that I even brought up that something was wrong.
" So he finally admitted that at one point in your relationship that he was in love with you and then you go and kiss him?" she asked as she raised her eyebrow at me
" Why do you make it sound like something that everyone knew but me?" I asked trying to keep my temper down. My mom actually rolled her eyes at me like I had just said the dumbest thing that she had ever heard.
" Because it was something that everyone could see but you. Why do you think that I spent all of that time trying to push you two together?"
" I always figured that it was because you loved him and besides he insisted that we were friends just as much as I did."
" Sweetie he did that because he thought it was what you wanted and even now I couldn't see him being selfish enough to do anything that might make you unhappy."
She was right. Adam was one of the most unselfish people that I knew and that made what I did even worse because it was one of the most selfish things that I could have possibly done.
" I don't love Adam like that and I knew it but a part of me wondered and now I have screwed everything up because of it. I'll be shocked if they both don't hate me."
" I think that they are both hurt right now and I can't promise that either of them will ever come around but I know how important you are to the both of them so I would just give them some space and time and hopefully it will all work itself out." She gave me a squeeze before going to make dinner. I spent the rest of the night just hanging out with my mother and getting caught up on family gossip, which was something that I missed. It was starting to get late and I was contemplating getting ready for bed since my mom had put done AJ awhile ago and had went to bed herself not long after and I was getting restless. I laid my head down and as I was about to drift off to sleep I thought I heard what sounded like a knock at the front door. It was almost one in the morning and I had no idea who it could be, if it was even anybody. It was probably the product of my over stressed mind. I went to lie down once again but this time I was sure that I had heard someone knocking at the door. I got up and felt a small ball of fear in the pit of my stomach. Usually the only time that someone showed up at someone else's door this late at night was if there was something really bad happening. I slowly made my way to the door and opened it, bracing myself for the worse. I felt another wave of tension knot through my body as I peeked around the door and saw who was standing on the other side.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The rest of the week went by without incident but there was this underlying current of tension between us that had never been there before. We were more careful around each other in what we said and especially when it came to physical contact. And when I say careful I mean that we pretty much avoided it all together. Karri came home a few days earlier than expected and she knew right away that something wasn't right but she seemed to take my explanation that I wasn't feeling well without question, much like Patrick had when I talked to him. He was getting concerned and told me that I should make an appointment with a doctor as soon as he got back into town. I agreed just keep him from worrying but little did he know that the kind of doctor I needed to see was the kind with a couch, not a stethoscope. They finally were on there way home and even though I knew it was going to be late when they got in I tried to stay up to see him. I must have fallen asleep on the couch because the next thing that I knew I felt a hand brushing across my face and lips being placed on mine.
" Hey what are you doing sleeping down here?" he said as he sat his bag down and shrugged off his suit jacket
" I was waiting for you but I guess I fell asleep." I said trying not to yawn.
" It's okay I figured you'd be sleeping but I'm glad your up. I've missed you."
I leaned up so I could pull him down to me and he had to brace himself with his hands to keep from falling on me completely. I loosened his tie and threw it on the floor and started in on the buttons of his dress shirt.I was desperate to get him undressed. He took my hand and kissed the inside of my wrist to slow things down.
" It's nice to know that you want me so bad and I know that it's late but we do have a little while.
He grabbed my other hand and stretched my arms out over my head. He kept a light hold on my wrists as he settled himself between my legs and stretched out his body over mine. He nestled his face into my neck and started to nip and lick at my skin. I tried to bring my hips up against his but he had my lower half pinned down pretty well with his body. He let go of my hands to finish undoing his his shirt and I sat up long enough to get mine off before he resumed his position over me. I closed my eyes as he kissed me again, his teeth biting at my bottom lip to get me to open my mouth, which I did.
" Tell me what you want." he said in a low whisper, his lips against my ear
" I want you, just you." I said and I meant it. I felt like an idiot for even questioning my relationship with the man the was above me. Ever since he had messed up he had kept the promise to me and did everything that I needed him to and this was how I repaid him. I covered my mouth with his as I tried to drown out all of thoughts that were running through my head.
" Babe what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked as he leaned back so he could look at me
I touched my face and found that he was right. My face was wet and I hadn't even realized that I had started. I thought about telling him but I couldn't bring myself to say the words that would break his heart.
" I'm sorry. I think I'm just overly emotional from being so tired and not feeling good."
" We don't have to do this now if you don't want. I can wait." he said as he tried to move off of me
I grabbed onto him to make sure that he wasn't going to move
" No I want to do this. I really need you. Please?" I pleaded. He looked at me and resisted for a few seconds while he looked at me but he finally let me pull him back down on top of me. He shed the rest of his clothes and helped me with he rest of mine. I lost myself in the familiar sensations that started to course through my body as he slid into me and started to move inside me. After awhile I could feel my climax start to approach and my body tensed and I tried to muffle the sounds that were coming out of my mouth in his shoulder. He finished a few minutes after me and he let out a contented sigh as he moved off to the side of me as much as the couch would let him. I turned away from him so my back was against his front and I closed my eyes as he kissed the back of my neck and lightly ran his hands over the skin of my side. I tried not to feel another hand on me, one that was bigger and rougher in texture doing the same thing but it wasn't easy.
" Babe why don't we go upstairs and take a quick shower and head to bed. I know that you are tired and so am I. We can talk more tommorrow."
I agreed and when I got up I put on the dress shirt that he had been wearing when he came in while he threw his boxers back on. He grabbed me around the waist and gave me a kiss before leading me up the stairs into the bathroom. We took the quick shower that he suggested and he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. I couldn't sleep right away, I just laid there and watched him as he laid there with a small smile on his face and I knew then that I was going to have to tell him what had happened. I ran my fingers through his hair that was starting to get just a little longer and curly again.
" I'm so sorry babe. I hope that you can forgive me." I whispered as I kissed his forehead. I snuck out of bed and went to sleep on the couch. He deserved to know what happened and then he could make up his mind if he even wanted to be with me anymore.
Friday, April 23, 2010
" Karri babe, I think we should take this upstairs" he murmered against my skin
Those words jolted me back to reality. What the hell was I thinking? This was wrong on so many levels and he didn't even realize that it was me. I pulled away and he finally opened his eyes, blinking a few times before really looking at me. Neither of us said a word, we just stared at one another for a few seconds. I swallowed and tried to think of something to say that would make this all go away but I couldn't think of anything and I was in no condition to hear anything that he may have to say so I got up without a word and made my way back to the room that I had been trying to sleep in earlier. I managed to keep my tears at bay until my head hit the pillow and the possible consequences of what I had done hit me like a ton of bricks. This was worse than what Patrick had done to me. It wasn't right but at least it was some faceless puckbunny that I would never have to face. I was the lowest form of scum for letting this get so out of hand and I had no one to blame but myself. Finally my body became exhausted enough that I started to drift off to sleep. A part of me didn't want to wake up because if I didn't wake up then I wouldn't have to deal with what the morning would bring. The next morning I woke up and when I looked at the clock it was almost ten. I bolted out of bed and made my way downstairs to check on AJ who was in the habit of getting up early. I heard noise coming from the kitchen and when I peeked in I saw Adam sitting at the his kitchen table holding Aj in his lap. He was talking to him and feeding him with his free hand. I stood there for a few minutes just watching him interact with Aj. I had always thought that he was going to make a great parent someday and watching him now only reinforced that. I jumped a little when he spoke to me without looking in my direction
" You might want to call Pat. He tried calling you earlier and I told him that you were still sleeping."
I swallowed and let out a sigh.
" Um okay. Are you sure that you'll be okay for a few more minutes?" I asked
" Yep. We'll be fine." he said finally looking at me, a smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes. I wanted to say something, anything to make him smile for real but after what I had done I didn't begin to know what I could possibly say to make it better. I walked into the living room and grabbed my phone where it was still sitting on the coffee table. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. I dialed his number and part of me hoped that he would be to busy to anwser but that wasn't the case.
" Hey babe." he said in a chipper tone of voice
" Hey." I said trying to make sure that my voice didn't let on that something was wrong
" Is something wrong?" he asked.
" Nothing serious. I think I might be coming down with something?" I lied
" Well you better take care of yourself since we have plans when we get back."
" Oh really? And what would those plans be?" I asked curiously
" Adam has finally decided to propose and he wanted us and some of the other couples there when he does it. He was thinking a dinner out somewhere nice."
" Oh." I whispered
" Babe why don't you go lay back down, you really sound like shit. I'll call you later before my nap okay. Love you."
" Yeah me too" was all I could bring myself to respond with before I hung up the phone
I didn't want to go back in the kitchen but I knew that I needed to face him sooner or later so I might as well get it over with. They both were still where I had left them and when I entered the room. Adam asked me to grab a wash cloth so he could wash Aj's messy face and I did as I was asked, running the washcloth under warm water before I handed it to him. He cleaned up his face and hands and I couldn't help but ask him about what I'd been told
" So you aren't going to wait to ask her to marry you?" He shrugged his shoulders and handed me Aj
" I figured that I already got the ring so why wait?" he got up and went to the sink to wash out the dirty washrag. I stared at his back, silently willing him to turn around and look at me. He finally did and I didn't like the look that was on his face.
" Can you explain why you did what you did last night? After everything that we talked about yesterday and I wake up to find myself pretty much doing everything but having sex with you. Do you realize how much this is fucking with my head?" he pretty much growled at me. He limped over to another chair and sat down and waited for an explanation that I wasn't sure that I could give him. I hugged Aj around the waist as I tried to think of how I could explain what was going on in my head in a way that would make sense. I took a deep breath and tried to steady my nerves.
" After we had our talk I started to think about how things might have turned out if you had said something before all of this. I went to wake you up to get you off of the couch and you turned your head enough that your lips brushed mine and it was like all rationale thought just went out the window. If it's any consolation I didn't plan on doing it and I am really sorry that I screwed things up. I had been looking at the floor the whole time and it wasn't until I heard the chair scrapping against the floor and felt his fingers underneath my chin that I looked up.
" You didn't screw things up promise. I know that I should have never said what I did in the first place. I don't want to screw up things for either of us so if you want to pretend like it didn't happen I'm fine with that. You know that I'll always be around when you need someone just like I have always been."
I felt tears start to make their way slowly from my eyes. I didn't deserve to have the great people in my life that I did, especially not him.
" Oh god please don't cry. You know I'm no good with weepy women." he said in a light tone of voice. I let out a small laugh and rubbed at my face. He smiled at me and this time it seemed genuine, and that made me happy. I got up and wrapped one arm around his shoulders in a one armed hug.
" I don't deserve you as a friend." I said as I sniffled
" I know but luckily for you I am willing to take on the occasional charity case. I mean come on why else would I agree to room with Sharpe?"
I didn't want to let go but after what happened I didn't think it was appropriate to keep on touching him. I let go and sat back down. The rest of the day went by quickly and even though we didn't say it out loud I knew that what had happened between us wasn't going to be brought up again. Now I just had to deal with the ball of guilt that was gnawing at my stomach. I was just going to have to deal with it for the sake of not only our relationship but of everyone else that was involved too.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
I cupped his face with my hand and leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
" I'm sorry that you felt that way. I never ment to make you feel bad." I said hoping he could hear the sincerity in my voice
" I know and I didn't tell you to try to make you feel bad either." he said as he grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze as I sat back.
" You aren't going to go all " My Bests Friends Wedding" on me are you?" I asked only half joking. He grinned at me and shook his head.
" Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it. Beside's I'm way to good looking to play Julia Robert's character anyways." he joked, seemingly back to his old self again.
" You know you are right about one thing though." I said not wanting things to get serious again but feeling like I had to let him know something. He didn't say anything as he waited for me to continue.
" I do love you in my own way. You are one of the most important people in my life and have been for a very long time and if that were to ever change I don't know what I would do."
He smiled at me again and pulled on my arm until I was practically sitting on his lap. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. I leaned against him and put my head on his chest and let out a slow breath. I felt horrible that he had been unhappy because of me, even if I had never had a clue but there wasn't anything I could do about it now. I loved Patrick and AJ and I knew that he loved Karri or otherwise he wouldn't have even considered marriage, much less went out and bought a ring. I was content with the way that my life was turning out but there was a small part of me that couldn't help but think what if. What if he had said something years ago? Would that have changed anything or would it not have mattered? I shook my head like my thoughts could be erased like an etchasketch drawing. I turned my head as I heard some noise come from the room that AJ was in and I had to go get him before he got grumpy. I stood up and turned around to look at him one more time before I left the room.
" There isn't going to be any weirdness now is there?" I asked to make sure that there wouldn't be
" Nope no weirdness." he said agreeably
I still wasn't sure why he had decided to tell me what he did but I had a suspicion that it had to do with the alcohol and meds and I really hoped that it wouldn't get weird because I didn't want to have to deal with what might happen if it did. I handed over AJ at his request. I watched as he played with him and I wasn't surprised that it only took a few minutes for Adam to get him laughing. I got out my laptop and started to look for potential jobs and I found a few that sounded like they might fit and I made notes in a notebook so I could call later. After I was done with that I decided to check my email which was something that I wasn't great at doing on a regular basis. I emailed my mother and Olivia to let them know how things were going and I emailed them some newer pictures that had been taken of the three of us. We didn't do much talking for the rest of the night and finally after eating supper and putting the baby down I told him that I was really tired and went to lie down upstairs in one of the guest rooms.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
We made our way past security and into the locker room. I wasn't sure where to go but I saw some people in hawks clothes so we went over to them to find out. We were told that they had just gotten him off the ice and that the team doctor was looking at him and that we were probably going to have to wait until they were finished before we could see him. We were directed to go to the family lounge and wait until someone came to get us. I could tell that Karri was frusterated and so was I but we did as we were told and went to wait.
" Do you think that he tore his alc again?" she said with the worry evident in her voice
I shrugged my shoulders.
" It could be anything really. Let's hope it's a sprain or something that won't be to serious."
She nodded her head but didn't look convinced. I wasn't sure that I was convienced but I had to hope because if it was another alc tear there was a very real possibility that it could end his career and I couldn't even fathom the thought of what it would do to him. Finally one of the medical interns came and told us that we could see him. I let Karri see him first and when she came out she was nearly in tears.
" They did an xray and they can't see anything but they are sending him to the doctor that did his surgery to make sure that there isn't something there that they can't see."
I pulled her into a tight hug and tried to calm her down.
" It will be okay, I promise. I'm going to go check on him. I'll be right back." I let go of her and went into the room that she had just come out of. He was laying back on the table still in his underarmour and they had elevated his leg.
" Hey sweetie how are you doing?" I asked as he lifted his head to look at me
" I've been better. They aren't sure if I did more damage or what is going on." I could tell that he was still in pain but was trying to be a tough guy and not show it. They had already called the doctor and got him an appointment but it was going to be three days until he could get in and I could tell that he wasn't happy about it. I wanted to stay a little while longer but he insisted that I should get back to the game and I wasn't about to argue with him in the pissy mood that he was in. I went and saw that Karri hadn't came back to her seat and even though I was worried I had to take care of my son. I took him back from Anna and told her what little I knew. I got a call from Karri letting me know that they had put a brace on him and gave him a pair of crutches before sending them home.
" Call me if you need any help with anything. I have a feeling that he's going to get really cranky from sitting around the house."
" Thanks for the warning. I'll talk to you later."
I went after the game and the locker room was pretty silent even though they had won. I knew that it had to be hard to see a teammate that was so well liked being helped off of the ice. We drove home in silence and I didn't push the issue. I knew that he would talk about it if and when he wanted too.
We spent his off day just hanging out as a family. I offered to pack his clothes so he could spend some time with the baby. When I was finished I went to peek in on them to see what they were doing. AJ was sitting up and Pat had given him one of those little mini sticks and he was trying to bat at a ball that was sitting in front of him. Patrick was trying to encourage him and when he finally hit it Patrick raised his arms and cheered which caused AJ to laugh. I didn't want to interupt but the babys routines were just as important as Pats.
" Hey babe. Can you feed AJ while I make supper please?"
" Sure. We will be right down." he said as he got up off the floor. Aj lifted up his arms as Patrick came and picked him up and I headed downstairs to start supper. He sat him in his high chair and started to try to feed him some baby food which went over surprisingly well. He had really been making alot of noise lately and we knew that it wouldn't be to long until he started to actually talk. He was banging a spoon on the tray and as I turned around I could of swore that I heard him say Dada.
" Hey did you hear that?" Patrick asked me as I turned around. Unfortuantly for us he wasn't a circus pony and couldn't be talked into performing on command. After dinner was done we were sitting around watching t.v when I got a phone call.
" So we got into the doctors early since they had a cancellation today and they told us that as far as they can tell that it's just a bad sprain."
" That's great news." I said relieved to not hear worse news
" Yeah but they figure that he's still going to be out for at least a couple of weeks. Now he's all pissy at me because I want to cancel the plans that I made while he was suppose to be gone. He say's I'm treating him like a baby." she complained to me
" If you want AJ and I can come over and take care of him while you go out of town. I don't have anything planned other than job hunting and I can do that on my laptop."
" Are you sure?" she asked with hesitation in her voice
" Yeah. You know that I would do anything for you two and it sounds like you need a vacation."
She let out what I percieved as a sigh of relief.
" Between this and school I really do need to get away for awhile. I really appreciate it. I'm pretty sure that you are the only one who can deal with his mopey ass right about now."
" No problem. I'll be over tomorrow sometime in the afternoon." I hung up my phone and went to let Patrick know what was going on. He was glad that it wasn't something more serious and told me to make sure that I took care of him while everyone was gone. We said our goodbyes that night in bed since he had to be up super early to get to the airport to head out to Calgary. The next day I woke up to an empty bed and the baby crying and after I got us both fed and ready I packed a small bag and headed over to Burs place. I let myself in and set the bag down on the floor before heading inside to find him. He was sitting on the couch with his leg elevated and he greeted the both of us while I sat down beside him. He took AJ out of my arms and sat him on his lap.
" So..." I prompted trying to start a conversation without being pushy
He sighed and looked at me.
" I hate sitting here feeling useless and then I have Karri treating me like an invalid on top of it."
" She isn't doing it on purpose. She's just worried about you." I tried to remind him without pissing him off even more.
" I know that, I really do it's just it makes me feel like one of her patients and not like her boyfriend you know.
I understood how he felt, I really did but at the same time I understood what Karri was going through too. It was going to be her job to take care of people and she was taking care of him in the best way that she knew how. I left him in the living room with AJ while I made us a quick lunch of tuna fish sandwiches. I handed him a plate and and he put AJ in the crook of one arm while he ate the sandwich with the other hand. He seemed a little more cheerful then when I had first shown up and for that I was glad. We settled into watch a movie while that baby took his nap in the portable crib that they had bought for times when we were over. He talked me into getting a beer for him even though I knew he shouldn't be drinking while taking even a low dose of pain meds. I cut him off after three since he seemed like he was already getting tipsy and I knew that wasn't normal. He laid back on the couch with his eyes closed and I was positive that he had dosed off so I was startled when he started to smile than laugh. I was about to ask him if he had gone completely nuts when he asked me a question.
" Do you remember the night that we met?" he asked opening his eyes to look at me
" Are you kidding me? How could I forget what is still probably one of the top ten most embarrasing moments of my life?" I said with a groan
" Yeah it had to have been horrible falling and giving yourself a cuncussion when you weren't even moving." he said with a laugh.
My friend had talked me into going out to the annual skate with the badgers and even though I couldn't skate worth a crap I let myself be talked into putting on a pair of skates and going onto the ice. My friend then proceeded to ditch me to flirt with some of the guys. I stood there by myself for awhile when I saw Adam and one of his teammates start in my direction and I spazzed out and tried to move and immediaetly fell over and hit my head on the ice. The next thing that I remember is waking up in one of the training rooms with a bunch of people standing over me freaking out. Luckily the worst thing that I got out of the whole incident was a headache. I found out after the fact that I had been carried off of the ice by Adam and he felt so bad that he had stuck around and offered to take me home after I convinced the medics that I didn't need to go to the hospital. We started talking in his car and after having a really good conversation we kept in contact and ended up becoming friends that we were today.
" I never told you that the reason that we were coming over was that I had a bet that I could get you to agree to go out me before Pavelski."
" You were going to ask me out on a date? Really?" I asked surprised that this was the first that I had ever heard of it
" Yeah why not? You were hot and funny and actually knew something about hockey and you just seemed to get me. What wasn't there to like?"
I was having a hard time wrapping my head around what he was telling me.
" You thought I was hot?" I asked repeating what he was telling me like I had some form of speech impediment.
" Yeah I did."
" Why didn't you ever say anything?" I asked him curious to hear his explanation.
He shrugged his shoulders and thought about it before he anwsered.
" You were dating that douchebag when we first met and even though I couldn't stand him I knew that if I had anything to do with breaking you two up that you would blame me and after what he did to you it just didn't seem right to try. Then I got stuck in the friends zone and after awhile I got over it. I would rather be there for you as a friend than not have you in my life at all and I've always known that you care about me, just not that way.
I didn't say anything as I studied his face intently. He had a few more lines on his face than when I had first met him but mostly he looked the same. His bright blue eyes watched me as he waited for some kind of response. I didn't even begin to know what to say to what he had revealed to me. I brought my hand up and traced the like of his jaw with the pads of my fingers as I tried to sort through what I was feeling.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Everything seemed to go back to some semblance of normal in the weeks that followed. I don't think that Anna and I would ever be as close as we had been before but I was happy to have her in my life in any way that was possible. I still felt like a piece was missing, I just couldn't figure out what it was. It took getting a call from my old co-worker Olivia to make me realize what it was. We chatted for a little while and got caught up on what had been going on with our lifes.
" So have you went back to work yet?" she asked
" No not yet." I admitted feeling slightly useless
" I know that it's important job being a mother and it's not like you need the money but you were damn good at being a nurse and that had to be hard to give up."
" Yeah it was hard to give up. I never wanted to live off of Patrick's money but that's exactly what ended up happening."
" Sweetie this isn't about money. I just believe that you should be able to have a life outside of your family. If you don't than you might end up resenting him down the road and that won't end well."
I knew that she was right. It finally dawned on me what I was missing. I loved Patrick and Aj but ever since I had quit my job the only people that I associated with were people that had to do with his world. I missed being able to meet and help new people everyday and I missed the bond that you can only get when you work besides someone.
" I don't know how Patrick will feel about me wanting to go back to work."
" He seems like a reasonable young man. Just let him know how you feel and I'm sure that it will be fine."
I wasn't sure about that but I knew that I owed it to myself to try. I went about the rest of my day and when I had a little while to myself I got on the internet and did some searching. I found a few things that looked interesting and more importantly they were part time, which was something that was important to me. I wanted to be able to balance my life and work and I didn't see that happening if I jumped back into full time work. I was trying to get laundry done when he got back from practice. He came in and found me and greeted me. I wasn't sure how to bring up what was on my mind but I ended up not having to.
" Are you planning on telling me what's on your mind or are you going to make me guess?" he asked giving me a smile
" Am I that easy to read?" I asked him already knowing what the anwser would be
" Yes, now what's going on? You aren't planning on leaving me are you?" He tried to play it off like he was joking but I could tell that he was a little worried
" Nothing like that babe. It's just that I was talking with Olivia today and it made me realize how much I missed working."
" So are you trying to tell me that you want to go back to work?"
I couldn't figure out the tone of his voice so I bit my lip and nodded.
" But it will only be part time though." I added quickly
" That's fine. I always figured you'd want to go back at some point."
I expected him to argue or throw a fit and when he was so calm about it it threw me off.
" That's it?"
He just looked at me like I was handicapped or something
" Um yeah that's it. "
I should have just left it alone but I couldn't do it.
" Aren't you mad?"
He came and took the shirt out of my hands and put his hands on either side of me so I had to look at him.
" Babe I'm not mad. I never expected you to become some leave it to beaver house wife. If going back to work is what makes you happy then I'll support you. I know that you will figure out how to balance everything."
I grabbed a fistful of his shirt so I could pull him closer to me.
" Thanks for being so understanding."
" Your welcome." he leaned over and started to kiss my neck
" Is the baby down for his nap?" he whispered in my ear
" Yeah. Ten minutes ago." I said in a slightly high pitched voice
I could feel him smile against my skin.
" Good we should have some time than."
He grabbed me by the ass and lifted me up onto the dryer that I had been leaning against. I wrapped my legs around his waist to get him as close as possible to me as he leaned over and started to attack my neck again with his lips. His hand crept under my shirt and started to stroke my breast through the lacy fabric of my bra. I wasted no time getting stripped down to nothing and Patrick quickly followed suit. He grabbed me underneath the knees and slid me forward and my hands gripped the edge of the dryer. He slid into me slowly and I leaned back as the sensations started to course through my body. I let him know just how much I was enjoying it by the noises that I was making. His mouth caught mine in a kiss that stifled my moans as he moved in and out of me at a faster pace and I could feel my muscles tighten around him as my orgasm came closer. It washed over me all of a sudden and my whole body tensed as I moaned his name. Almost fifteen minutes later he came with a shudder.
" Love you babe." he whispered into my ear
" Love you too." I whispered back
He finally let go of me and we both slid our clothes back on. He had a game later that night and still had to lie down for his own nap. I didn't want to break his routine anymore than we already had so I left him alone as I went to check on AJ and shower since I felt all sweaty and gross after our encouter in the laundry room. I peeked into the bedroom and grinned when I saw him already passed out on the bed. I thought about crawling into bed with him to take a nap but I didn't want to disturb him since I had already thrown off his game day routine off and I didn't want to deal with him cranky if he didn't play well. I went downstairs and tried to finish the laundry that I had started before he came home. I kept myself busy and then started an early dinner which was the normal hockey players diet of pasta chicken and broccoli. I heated up a bottle and went to wake my boys up. I gave AJ his bottle and Patrick came down and quickly ate and then went to get ready since the game was a little earlier than normal. I was debating on whether or not I was going to go and the fact that AJ was in a good mood made me decide to go. I got us both ready and we left with Patrick even though it would be kind of early since I wanted to see the guys for a few minutes before they started to get ready. I went around the room so that the guys could say hello to the baby. I smiled as he giggled and played with a puck that seabs had given him. The last person that I saw before Patrick was Burs and when we walked up to him he was flexing his leg with a slight grimace of pain on his face. It was the same leg that he had to have surgery on not once but twice in the past and I was concerned.
" Is your knee bothering you again?" I asked as I sat down on the bench next to him
" A little. I think that I tweaked it a little at practice this morning." he admitted as he put his foot back on the ground
" You know that you have to be careful. It would be really easy to reinjure it since you've had surgery on it once already." I admonished
" Yes mother I know and if it gets any worse I'll get it checked out okay?" he said with a grin
" You better or I'll kick your ass." I said as I got up and kissed his cheek and went to Patrick so AJ could see him and I could wish him luck before we went to our seats. I met Anna and Karri at our usual spot and we all went down to our seats. The game started and we cheered as the guys started play against a really hot Avalanche team. It was almost the end of the first period when I saw Adam come onto the ice with his linemates. I held my breath as they got control of the puck and brought it up the ice. Adam was forced to the outside and he went to pass the puck. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone come flying in and Adam fell to the ice as whoever it was checked him into the boards. It was like I was watching what was going on in slow motion as he fell, clutching at the knee that he had been complaining about only a little while before. I gave the baby to Anna who took him without a word. I grabbed Karri's hand and we pretty much ran in the direction of the lockerrooms. I knew that it would take a few minutes to get him up and off of the ice but I wanted to be there when they brought him in. I wouldn't be alright until I made sure that my best friend was okay.