The first month was the hardest not only with the baby, who we had taken to calling AJ, short for Adam junior, but with our relationship. I was true to my word and I didn't go back to Chicago to stay, even though we went down when the guys were in town to visit. I was still having trust issues but true to his word he was doing everything he could to make it easier for me. I had hope that sometime in the future that we would be able to go back to the way things had been before his indiscretion.
" Hey we're here." I yelled as I opened the door and tried to juggle the baby bag and the baby in my arms. He came down the stairs and gave me a kiss on the cheek before taking the baby from my arms.
" Hey buddy." he cooed as he bounced him up and down
" How's everything been going?" he asked as I set the baby bag down by the couch
" Pretty good. He is starting to sleep better. " I replied as I plopped on the couch
" Adam offered to watch him for a little while so we can go out for dinner."
" I'm still not convinced that he knows what to do with a baby."
" Well he has the mentality of a little kid and if it makes you feel better I did make sure that Karri is going to be there."
I watched as they sat on the couch and he turned on a game. He sat Aj up in his arms so he could see the tv and I had to admit that it was cute how he explained what was going on like he would understand.
" I have to run out to the car and grab my stuff so I can get ready."
He nodded his head in my direction and I went to get ready. I took a shower and put on my make up before I slid into the dress that I had bought especially for tonight. I felt nervous, this was the first time that we were going to interact without the baby being there and I was really hoping that it would go well. I came down the stairs to find them both in the same spot that I had left them. I coughed and he turned his head at the sound.
" What do you think?" I asked as I turned around so he could see the back
" What do you think? Does mommy look pretty?"
Aj waved his hands around and made some noise so I took that as a yes. He set Aj in his bouncy chair and went to get ready while we waited. Before he was ready Adam came to pick Aj up.
" Hey, how is my favorite monster?"
" He is fine. Now everything that you will need is in the bag. If you have any problems I'll have my phone on vibrate."
" Stop spazzing out. We'll be fine, won't we little guy. Go have fun. You deserve it."
" Drive careful and I'll see you later."
I gave AJ a kiss and watched as they left. I knew that Adam would take good care of him but I couldn't help but be a little anxious. He hadn't really been out of my of my sight since he was born. I heard a noise behind me and turned around to see Patrick walking down the stairs. He looked good in his suit but his tie was a little crooked.
" Come here. "
He walked to where I was standing and I fixed his tie for him. I smoothed it down with my hand.
" That's better."
He held out his arm for me and we left for dinner. The food was great and we had a nice time talking. I got a text as we were driving back to the house. They wanted to keep the baby overnight. I wasn't sure that was a good idea so I called to make sure.
" Are you sure that you want to keep him. He is still waking up at night and I was planning on driving home."
" Yeah I'm sure. He's clean and already sleeping in the portable crib that we bought. We don't play tommorow and it will be good practice for us."
" Hopefully any kids that you have will be like Karri. I don't think that the world can handle more than one of you."
" You're probably right. I have to go. My women is waiting for me. Call me in the morning and we can figure out when you want him back."
I hung up my phone and tried to sound nonchalant
" Adam and Karri wanted to keep Aj overnight. Is it okay if I stay in one of the spare bedrooms tonight?"
" Yep, that's fine."
We got back to the house and I went upstairs to change right away. I didn't mind having to be a girl for a little while but I was always going to be more comfortable in a pair of jeans and sneakers. I tried to reach the zipper on the back of my dress and could reach it just fine but it ended up getting stuck. No matter what I did it wouldn't come down and I couldn't really reach it enough to pull very hard on it.
" Patrick can you come here please?" I yelled down the stairs
" What's up?" he asked as he poked his head in the door
" My zipper is stuck. Can you help me?
I turned around and moved my hair off of my neck as he came into the room. I could feel his fingers through the fabric of my dress and I swore that I could hear his breath quicken as he got it unstuck.
" There it's down." he said in a thick voice
I turned around holding the dress up in the front. I looked up into his eyes and he stared a few seconds before he turned away. I wanted to say something to make him stay but I couldn't find the words before he left. I turned around and started to get ready for bed. I'm not sure how long I laid in bed awake before I got up and tiptoed out to the hallway. I was going to go to the bathroom but I couldn't help but stop at the door to what had once been our bedroom. It was cracked open and I could see the outline of his body under the sheets. I contemplated going in but I didn't want to wake him up. I was going to go back to the spare bedroom and I let out a little scream as his voice came through the door.
" Jesus Christ you scared me." I yelped. My heart was racing and I tried to control my breathing
" Didn't mean to. You can come here if you want."
I pushed open the door and he moved over so I could crawl into bed beside him. He wrapped his arms around me. He immediatly fell back to sleep as I tried to get comfortable. Things weren't perfect but at least they were getting better and that was all I could hope for.