I woke up the next morning and even though I knew I should I still couldn't bring myself to say the words that I knew I needed to say out loud. Patrick had the day off besides a morning skate and he was home in time for lunch. He sat down to eat the sandwhich that I had made for him and we were both pretty silent.
" Did you make that doctors appointment yet?" he asked as I went around the kitchen cleaning up the non existent mess in an effort to keep myself busy.
" No I didn't but babe you really need to stop worrying. I'm fine." I said in my best reassuring tone
" Man if I didn't know you and Burs better I would think that there was something going on. He was acting really weird when I called him today."
I knew by the tone of his voice that he meant it as a joke but my body instantly went still. I took a deep breath and turned around to face him, dropping the sponge that I had been cleaning with onto the counter.
" Patrick there is something that I have to tell you." I said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. I couldn't even look at him and as I started to talk the words just came pouring out of my mouth like I had to get them all out in one breath
" I kissed Adam. I don't know why I did it but I did and I'm really sorry. I was just confused and I promise that it didn't mean anything and that it will never ever happen again." I was still looking at the floor and I waited for the yelling that I was sure was to follow my little outburst but nothing came. I finally peeked up and saw a look of total shock on his face. It took a few minutes of silence but finally he got up and left without a word. Once again I started to cry but I couldn't wallow in my misery for long since I had someone else who depended on me to take care of them and I couldn't very well do that if I was a complete wreck. I figured that he would have to come back sooner or later either to talk or to get his stuff and I knew that I had needed the distance and I figured that he would too. A few hours passed and I still hadn't heard from him and I was starting to get worried. Right before I went to bed I got a call from Tazer.
" Mel Patrick just showed up at my door drunker then hell asking me if he could spend the night. What the hell is going on between you two?"
I winced as he described the state that he was in. I only hoped that he hadn't done anything stupid while getting that drunk.
" Did he say anything?" I asked not wanting to tell Tazer anymore than I had to.
" Not anything that made any sense. But then again he could barely walk, much less talk. So..."
" We just had a fight that's all. Please just do me a huge favor and make sure that he is taken care of for the rest of the night. If he wants to tell you more he can do it then."
" Sure I can do that. Do you want me to try to get him to call you in the morning or something."
" You can try but I highly doubt that he will want to speak with me."
" Okay. Mel I'm sure what ever it was that happened can be fixed. You guys have been through to much together for him to throw it all away over something stupid."
" Yeah I hope so. Thanks."
In all of this I hadn't considered telling Adam what was going on. He was probably the first person that I should have called when shit hit the fan but I was to busy wallowing in my own misery to think about what all of this might mean for him. I quickly dialed his number and it almost went to voicemail before he picked up.
" So I guess you just couldn't keep shit to yourself." he said instead of a greeting
" I couldn't help it. I had to tell him Bur."
" Yeah well thanks for the warning. He showed up here yesterday night and told me if I so much as look at you again that he is going to do everything in his power to get my ass traded to the maple leafs or some other shitty canadian team."
" He can't do that, can he?"
" I don't know but if they had to choose between me and him who do you think that they would pick?"
" Does Karri know?"
" No. At least I don't think so. She was out shopping when he showed up."
" I'll try to do whatever I can to fix this. I promise."
With that he hung up the phone on me. I looked at the phone for a few seconds in shock. In all of the time that we had known each other he had never talked to me like that and frankly it was a little scary to hear him that angry. It was just one more thing to have to deal with after things hopefully cooled down. As much as I just wanted to sit I knew that I had better get things started for breakfast since it was almost time for AJ to get up and he wouldn't care. I went to get him a little while later and sat him in his high chair to feed him. Despite everything I found myself smiling as he cooed and tried to talk. It was nice to know that I had one thing in my life that I hadn't managed to screw up, at least not yet. I had thought about turning my phone off after the conversation that I had had with Adam but I couldn't do it, not on the slim chance that Patrick might call me to talk. He didn't and I wasn't surprised at all. I knew what I needed to do and I made a few calls before I packed a couple of small bags and headed up to stay with my mom for a few days. I text Pat to let him know that I wasn't in the house and that he could come home if he wanted to but I never got a reply. One phone call and three hours later I was pulling into the driveway of my parents house. My mom came out gave me a hug before taking the baby and going inside. She didn't press for information and I was glad. She knew that eventually I would tell her what was going on and I knew that I could count on her to give me advice, even if it was something that I wasn't going to want to hear. I turned off my phone and put it away. The only person who needed to know where I was right now did and he had my mothers number if he really needed to get a hold of me that badly. It wasn't until after dinner that I even brought up that something was wrong.
" So he finally admitted that at one point in your relationship that he was in love with you and then you go and kiss him?" she asked as she raised her eyebrow at me
" Why do you make it sound like something that everyone knew but me?" I asked trying to keep my temper down. My mom actually rolled her eyes at me like I had just said the dumbest thing that she had ever heard.
" Because it was something that everyone could see but you. Why do you think that I spent all of that time trying to push you two together?"
" I always figured that it was because you loved him and besides he insisted that we were friends just as much as I did."
" Sweetie he did that because he thought it was what you wanted and even now I couldn't see him being selfish enough to do anything that might make you unhappy."
She was right. Adam was one of the most unselfish people that I knew and that made what I did even worse because it was one of the most selfish things that I could have possibly done.
" I don't love Adam like that and I knew it but a part of me wondered and now I have screwed everything up because of it. I'll be shocked if they both don't hate me."
" I think that they are both hurt right now and I can't promise that either of them will ever come around but I know how important you are to the both of them so I would just give them some space and time and hopefully it will all work itself out." She gave me a squeeze before going to make dinner. I spent the rest of the night just hanging out with my mother and getting caught up on family gossip, which was something that I missed. It was starting to get late and I was contemplating getting ready for bed since my mom had put done AJ awhile ago and had went to bed herself not long after and I was getting restless. I laid my head down and as I was about to drift off to sleep I thought I heard what sounded like a knock at the front door. It was almost one in the morning and I had no idea who it could be, if it was even anybody. It was probably the product of my over stressed mind. I went to lie down once again but this time I was sure that I had heard someone knocking at the door. I got up and felt a small ball of fear in the pit of my stomach. Usually the only time that someone showed up at someone else's door this late at night was if there was something really bad happening. I slowly made my way to the door and opened it, bracing myself for the worse. I felt another wave of tension knot through my body as I peeked around the door and saw who was standing on the other side.